Don’t keep your talents to yourself! Learn how to silence your inner critic and make the impact you were born to create. Mary Cheyne rejoins the Technology = Equality Community for episode #74 to share tips and tricks on how to silence your inner critic! Mary Cheyne, 2009 World Championship of Public Speaking 1st Runner-up, of 25,000 contestants from over 14 countries, is helping you to face your fears, silence your inner critic and live your dreams. Mary originally joined us for episode #71 to discuss the ‘pink elephant’ public speakers don’t discuss. If you missed it, click here to check out episode #71.

Today Mary is a public speaking coach and author of the Amazon best-selling book “Present Yourself In Public Speaking”. Listen in as Mary and I dive even deeper into how your inner critic is holding you back and how you can overcome it. Then join Mary and I, in Woburn, MA this weekend December 9th & 10th for Mary’s 2-Day “Present Yourself In Public Speaking” Boot camp!

“Keep moving forward in spite of your fear!”

~Mary Cheyne

Register Today!

Don’t keep your talents to yourself!

Download this episode (right-click and save)

Silence Your Inner Critic With Mary Cheyne.

Strategy: Be aware of the resistance you feel in life. The resistance can often signal something you should address in life. Keep a journal to release your inner critic and use your “Best Friend” voice to change your thought process.

Wisdom: You’re not alone, ‘Imposter Syndrome’ happens to many people. It is a completely common concern amongst men and women, young or old. Listen in to learn the five major categories of how your inner critic communicates.

Wish: Mary wants to help you silence your inner critic so you too can be empowered to live your dreams too! 

Tools: Mary’s Best Selling Book

“Present” Yourself in Public Speaking – Tell Your Inner Critic to SHUT UP! And the Real You to SPEAK UP!

Reach Out Via:

Mary’s Calendar

Click Here to book a 20-minute Discovery call with Mary to see how she might be able to help you.

Mary’s Website

www.MagneticPodium.com

Full Transcription and Timestamps: 

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and so if that ever comes up for you or

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if you're hearing it now and you can

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relate to it and you go oh my god that

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totally happened to me from Boston

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Massachusetts you're listening to the

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technology equals equality podcast

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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welcome back to the technology cause

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equality podcast I'm your host Lori

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Brooks and this is episode 74 I am very

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pleased to welcome public speaker author

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and coach Mary Sheen back to the show

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Mary originally joined us for episode 71

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to discuss the pink elephant in the room

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the public speakers don't speak about

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this week Mary is back to show you how

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you can begin silencing your inner

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critic - Mary welcome back and thank you

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so much for joining us again today thank

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you Laurie I am so excited to be back on

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I have you back on you are a ginormous

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part of this journey of mine over here

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at this point Mary for my listeners sake

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if you didn't get that chance to check

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out that episode as I mentioned a moment

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ago you should check it out as I have

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shared that I did have the opportunity

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to read Mary's book and I am super

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excited about my own public speaking

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journey as I have just before we started

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recording this episode enrolled in

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Mary's upcoming boot camp in December so

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Mary I'd love for you to develop you

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know a little bit more about the boot

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camp as we kind of get into this episode

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a little bit further but what I'd like

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to kind of do is take it back to what we

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were touching base on as I was

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registering was kind of that fear that I

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was dealing with taking that next step

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in my own journey because I'm positive

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that it's a fear and a feeling that a

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lot of entrepreneurs come across that

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hesitation of investing in themselves or

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taking that next step on their journey

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or getting on a stage or hosting that

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webinar there's that that pops up that

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makes you hesitate so I was sharing with

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you the reframe and and what I was

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working on my

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so and I'm just curious what have you

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found to be the most common fear that

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you've come across with clients

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great question wonderful wonderful

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question there are many different fears

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that we have when as human beings when

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we step outside our comfort zone okay I

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think your listeners are probably

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like-minded like you and I said they

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probably heard that by now but how I

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want to break that down and unpack it

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for people so that there's a more

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nuanced understanding of how to combat

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your own fears when they come up is

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always work on noticing what your

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internal dialogue is all right because

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thoughts lead to emotion and how you

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feel so paying attention to how you feel

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when the fears come up and then asking

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yourself what is actually causing this

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fear right and so one of the most common

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fears is to answer your question more

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directly is in terms of public speaking

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especially is I don't want to look

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stupid

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or something around that genre that

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theme of stupidity right so I don't want

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to feel stupid I don't want to look

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stupid I don't want to appear stupid and

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that is one of the most common

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underlying themes of why people avoid

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public speaking or when they do somehow

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have to do it or feel like they need to

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do it that fear is there with them as

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they open their mouths for the first

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time on the stage behind the scene so

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it's nothing like a consciously thinking

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I don't want to look stupid anyone looks

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stupid it's a subconscious fear that's

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lurking just behind it so that just

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behind the the surface on the periphery

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and that's why there's this more obvious

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fear around well I've got to be probe

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eggs I hope I prepare enough I hope I

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don't say anything that's gonna

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discredit myself and very closely

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related to that fear is the what I've

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noticed with the clients and people that

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I work with and you know as you know

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you've read my book I talked about it at

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length in my book is this fear of being

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found out

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okay so what that means is the impostor

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syndrome you may have heard of this many

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people have not right but there's this

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common concept out there called the

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impostor syndrome and I can tell you and

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so what that means is you know in a very

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high level is whatever you're doing

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whatever your the value you're providing

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to the audience or however you show up

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to help the audience there's a feeling

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in the background of I'm just faking it

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I'm not really a you know X Y or Z

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whatever you're doing in life whoever

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you are representing I'm not really that

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I'm not really an expert on this topic

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and so that becomes a fear in itself of

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being found out okay so first of all

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that is a very common thing that happens

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for people and so if that ever comes up

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for you or if you're hearing it now and

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you can relate to it and you go oh my

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god that totally happens to me then just

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first of all know that it's normal that

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it comes up for many many people just

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the fact that you're a human being and

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the fact that you are stepping outside

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your comfort zone and whatever that

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looks like for you that will come up or

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that a similar fear will come up is the

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fact that it's the new effect that you

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are outside your comfort zone there's as

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part of your brain that kicks in that

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tries to keep you safe right that keep

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you safe don't go out the comfort zone

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you know this is perceived threat but

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something's going to happen to you so

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this fear is not something that you want

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to suppress or wish that it wasn't there

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or there's something wrong with you

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because the fear is there no the idea is

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to notice it when it comes up and it's

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normal and then to proceed in the

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direction that you choose because you

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know you're growing and you know you

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want to take next step in this direction

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whether it's contributing more or

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stepping up your game whatever that

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looks like for you and in public

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speaking it usually means speaking

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outside of your comfort zone so in other

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words if you were used to say speaking

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in front of a group of you know five to

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ten P

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Paul about a topic that you're very very

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familiar with so your next level of

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comfort zone might be speaking in front

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of 50 to 200 people in a new topic right

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a topic that you want to contribute but

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you haven't you're not very practiced in

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giving that topic and so that isn't by

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nature outside of the comfort zone

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because there's something new right so

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anytime you endeavor in presenting

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something new or stepping outside your

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comfort zone in any kind of sense

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whether it's a new skill you're learning

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or you're endeavoring to have your own

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business now for the first time you know

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creating a new area of business you

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haven't created before anything like

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that that's outside your comfort zone

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the idea is notice when the fear comes

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up and because you know for sure that's

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the direction you want to travel you

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want to notice that internal dialogue

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and the fear and then moving forward

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despite of that fear that is the trick

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my friend and that is worth if you can

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do that and you can do that consistently

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and internally coach yourself to not let

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the fear stop you from taking the

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antigen that is the Holy Grail right

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there definitely it's about making sure

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that you take the actions whatever that

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that fear that hesitation is felt I tend

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to notice or recognizing myself that

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there's something that I need to follow

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through with there something that I need

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to move forward with it's not

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necessarily the easiest thing to go

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about recognizing you're noticing do you

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find that there are more female clients

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versus male clients do you think that

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there's a difference in the way females

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versus males approach this sort of

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hesitation or the fear that's a great

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question and I would I think it's both I

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think there are commonalities and there

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are slight differences as well the

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commonality being the baseline is

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whether you're male or female we have

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one thing in common and that is that

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were all humans right so as human beings

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we definitely share the same mechanics

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of how when we are endeavoring to do

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something new learn something

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and oh it's going to be those awkward

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moments at the beginning and you know

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that that in itself is a commonality

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between men and women now if I had to

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separate them and I talked a little bit

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about this in my book about the

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differences between men and women

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especially when it comes to dealing with

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public speaking is there are some

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biological differences between men and

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women and the way the way I described it

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in the book is for men

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the primary chemistry I guess is

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dominated by testosterone right there's

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this dark side you know quote-unquote

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dark side of testosterone is violence

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when there's too much of it there's

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there happens to be the violence right

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for women were wired differently just by

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nature and that our predominant chemical

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is estrogen right the way women socially

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bond traditionally is through nurturing

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each other right

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the nature of nurturing each other and

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then the dark side quotient again the

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dark side of how females function is the

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the tendency to exclude okay so for

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example and this is and you know this is

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not me me creating this it's very well

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known this is the phenomenon that you

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would see in movies or in books like

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this is a movie for except me and girls

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and there's plenty other examples like

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that and a book called queen bees and

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wannabes right it's a very well known

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phenomenon and and women as we grow up

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well maybe when we get to between years

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the teenagers were experience this in

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the peer pressure where it's the

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exclusion happens in the form of which

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is nice I'm not your friend right and so

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there's this exclusion that happens and

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so because we're wired that way there is

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this tendency for women to to have the

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predisposition to want to be like yeah

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and so what that means wanting to be

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liked the opposite of that is not

257
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wanting to be ousted

258
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not wanting to be rejected and I'm sure

259
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:08,549
Lori if you would ask any

260
00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:10,799
your female listeners they either have

261
00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:12,420
experienced it themselves somewhere

262
00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:13,799
along their growing up journey or they

263
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:17,369
know of somebody close to them who's

264
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:21,149
experienced being ousted right and I

265
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:22,980
myself have as well many times if I was

266
00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:26,249
showing this story with my one of my

267
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:29,309
friends in the fifth grade I was dumped

268
00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:30,839
by my best friend okay and that if

269
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:33,959
you've ever experienced it it's not a

270
00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:38,759
pleasant feeling and so there is this

271
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:39,959
tendency now to unconsciously want to be

272
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liked right

273
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not wanting to be disliked and so the

274
00:11:42,029 --> 00:11:47,759
way it manifests in public speaking for

275
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:50,730
example is being consciously aware that

276
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:53,100
you're not there on the stage to be

277
00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:55,350
liked I mean it's my preference to be

278
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:57,420
liked and I'm you know it's great if you

279
00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:59,129
in during my audience and whatever I say

280
00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:01,619
resonates with you know oh I like her

281
00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:03,959
that's great that is my preference but

282
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:06,329
the purpose my primary purpose is being

283
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:08,489
in the stage is not for you to like me

284
00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:10,739
because I will say things that will

285
00:12:08,489 --> 00:12:12,869
probably wake you up in some way maybe

286
00:12:10,739 --> 00:12:15,389
even a little controversial maybe to you

287
00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:17,189
know trigger you deliberately so that I

288
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:18,720
can wake you up to these insights or

289
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:21,720
concepts that I'm trying to share with

290
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:24,059
you and so if my primary concern while

291
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,529
I'm the stage is to be light then that's

292
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:28,290
going to hold my whole back my

293
00:12:25,529 --> 00:12:30,239
expression right and so you know and not

294
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,619
to say that men don't have that men as

295
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:33,360
human beings also you know would like to

296
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:35,819
be liked as well nobody I don't think

297
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:38,129
ever consciously just gets up that just

298
00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:40,769
not to be light but yeah that is a

299
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:43,079
slight difference in the way we're wired

300
00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:46,019
as men and women and in my experience I

301
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:49,739
work with both men and women men also

302
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:50,759
have a similar and I want to emphasize

303
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:54,269
this point because I think it's

304
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:57,540
important also have the as human beings

305
00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:59,699
the fear of being rejected as well even

306
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:02,189
if it's more unconscious than

307
00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:05,160
subconscious and then the women however

308
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:06,600
they're not as what I've noticed in the

309
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:11,730
people that I work with they're not

310
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:14,759
necessarily as open about sharing those

311
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:16,799
fears right but once it's put on the

312
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:19,170
table once it's out there in the open

313
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:21,630
then you say oh yeah I have that

314
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:24,690
- and yes I have that - so I think it's

315
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:26,430
it is women are more susceptible to it

316
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:30,800
but men are definitely not exempt from

317
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:34,500
it in fact probably equally subjected to

318
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:35,760
the the same phenomenon but not as we

319
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:39,720
stress about it

320
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:42,959
it's just that it's not as commonly

321
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:45,540
discussed or as commonly recognized -

322
00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:48,959
that perception that recognition of it

323
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:51,120
may not be as available as it is to

324
00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:55,800
those who are looking or consciously

325
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:58,380
aware of their intent or interest in the

326
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:01,399
statement as you said you know the need

327
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:04,380
to be like right right yeah this is some

328
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:06,959
perception I need to look up his name

329
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,820
but there's this author a seeker who

330
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:11,490
talks about this at length and I learned

331
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:15,480
from him through his experiences that

332
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:17,870
the way men grow up is is more of a if

333
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,860
you were to share your feelings with

334
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:22,230
somebody like in your in your male

335
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,699
bonding group then it there is a high

336
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:26,550
chance that it could be perceived as a

337
00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:28,949
weakness you see and so that's why many

338
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:32,040
men don't share and end up bottling it

339
00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:33,870
up and you know in many ways that's

340
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,430
that's it's going to manifest the quirks

341
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:37,769
are going to manifest differently right

342
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:39,510
author about that that side of things -

343
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:42,360
mint which I can't speak to you cuz I'm

344
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:45,180
not one well no that's wonderful what

345
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,490
we'll do is we will put a link to either

346
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:50,130
his youtube channel or his website along

347
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:52,589
with the info about the bootcamp on the

348
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:54,180
show next page for the listeners and and

349
00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:56,610
links so that they can check them out

350
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:59,459
thank you for sharing that I know fear

351
00:14:56,610 --> 00:15:02,550
was really big player during your

352
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:05,970
journey as an entrepreneur and becoming

353
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:08,519
a speaker but I'm curious about whether

354
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:12,180
or not you feel like fear was also the

355
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:15,839
biggest player when launching your own

356
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:17,430
coaching firms so magnetic podium what

357
00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:19,260
do you feel was the difference between

358
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:22,079
the two and what if there was a

359
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:25,769
difference that is a great question I

360
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:28,800
think fear is a part of everyday life

361
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:30,269
and a fear is a part of the common limit

362
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,760
now Lee that we experience as human

363
00:15:30,269 --> 00:15:35,370
beings so it will be pervasive

364
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:38,130
you know whether it's whether it was me

365
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:40,250
learning to be a better speaker or me

366
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:43,260
launching my own business that

367
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:46,380
definitely is a commonality that that I

368
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:48,420
do have to get through in platoon to

369
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,770
continue launching the business and so

370
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,810
it's a training and communications

371
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:55,050
company with a coaching side of it as

372
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:57,000
well one-on-one coaching and how I now

373
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:59,250
describe it is its transformation or

374
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:04,980
public speaking so in other words it's

375
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:07,800
not necessarily addressing its core

376
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:09,270
purpose is not to address the just the

377
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,770
mechanics of speaking because I started

378
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:13,320
to notice that in the public speaking

379
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:15,150
training education world out there and I

380
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,520
myself through my journey have taken

381
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:21,120
many many many public speaking courses

382
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:24,360
and training courses and the gap that I

383
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:27,180
perceived when I started teaching public

384
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:30,320
speaking back in 2009 it became very

385
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:32,400
obvious to me that people's number one

386
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,440
obstacle that got in their way of

387
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,450
becoming the best most self-express

388
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,940
speaker that they can be what held them

389
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:40,890
back wasn't the mechanics which is what

390
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:43,110
was being taught so what I mean by

391
00:16:40,890 --> 00:16:45,030
mechanics is things like how do you

392
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:47,580
stand how do you use your voice how do

393
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:49,380
you structure a speech how do you what

394
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:51,870
is the message all of that is important

395
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:53,820
but was what was not being addressed was

396
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:57,150
pink elephant in the room so to speak

397
00:16:53,820 --> 00:17:01,560
which is the inner critic yourself right

398
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:03,870
so when you went so when I was creating

399
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,640
courses and writing my book about the

400
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:07,680
whole process of what I teach you how to

401
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:12,570
conquer your own inner critic it became

402
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:15,140
very readily apparent to me that if I'm

403
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:18,660
not myself constantly and consistently

404
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:21,690
working on my own inner critic and and

405
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:24,420
being able to identify it when it comes

406
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:27,959
up in proceeding despite of it then I

407
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:30,360
have no credibility teaching it okay so

408
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:32,150
as I was launching my company around

409
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:34,440
this concept and around what I teach

410
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:36,510
there is also something that I was

411
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:39,420
watching right what is my own inner

412
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:41,610
critic saying right now as I am

413
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:42,990
endeavoring to launch this business as

414
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:45,210
I'm you know building out the next

415
00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:47,169
components of my business and even in

416
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:49,510
writing the book

417
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:51,220
this all came up so it's fascinating

418
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:55,059
that you asked this question because the

419
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:58,120
fear that doesn't always come manifest

420
00:17:55,059 --> 00:18:00,100
itself as APU right right it's funny a

421
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,740
lot of the times actually it doesn't

422
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,899
manifest as an obvious like you're not

423
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:07,600
literally sitting there going I'm scared

424
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:10,269
right now right don't manifest that way

425
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:13,929
how how it's sometimes and often does

426
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:17,440
manifest is notice there's this internal

427
00:18:13,929 --> 00:18:19,539
resistance that happens right Steven

428
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:23,409
Pressfield who's a very well-known

429
00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:25,960
author he talks about this as well and

430
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:27,940
then and it's the equal and opposite

431
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:30,639
it's almost like there's two opposing

432
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:33,340
forces that's happening within us so one

433
00:18:30,639 --> 00:18:35,080
is we want to survive right as human

434
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:37,570
beings obviously we don't die we want to

435
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:40,320
survive so that's one force and then the

436
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:43,000
opposite force is we also want to grow I

437
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:45,429
want to grow as human beings we want to

438
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,110
evolve as human beings and what does

439
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:49,690
that mean that means we have to step

440
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:52,090
outside our comfort zone so these two

441
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:54,159
equal and opposite forces are happening

442
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,510
at the same time so I want to grow yeah

443
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,860
I want to grow and then you step outside

444
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:59,260
your comfort zone you're like oh no I

445
00:18:56,860 --> 00:19:01,450
need to survive I need to get back into

446
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:04,269
my comfort zone so these two opposite

447
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:06,940
forces are always working against each

448
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:09,190
other and it's not a good thing it's not

449
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:12,490
a bad thing it's a neutral thing to

450
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:14,529
notice and understand within our souls

451
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:17,200
because how it manifests on a daily

452
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:18,789
basis is for example if you are let's

453
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,230
say building out a new component to your

454
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,639
business you've never done it before or

455
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,870
you're working on a new speech a new

456
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:26,289
presentation that you've never given

457
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:28,929
before and how it comes across inside

458
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:30,399
how did a dialogue if you were to notice

459
00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:33,639
within yourself might be something like

460
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:35,710
oh I really don't want to do this right

461
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:38,350
now and it reveal I'd are such a hard

462
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:41,049
work I'm never gonna get this finished

463
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:44,620
right so that in itself is putting

464
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:46,929
dialogue into what that feeling is right

465
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:49,240
that feeling is always hard and I'm

466
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:51,549
gonna do it now I don't feel like it I'm

467
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,860
sure all of your listeners can relate to

468
00:19:51,549 --> 00:19:57,639
that and you're like oh that feeling of

469
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,880
hardwood that pushed that that that the

470
00:19:57,639 --> 00:20:01,760
the

471
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:05,030
distance of you know getting into motion

472
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:07,220
you got to really set yourself on this

473
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:09,650
path of paths in your own universe

474
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:13,070
aright like divine path the initial

475
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:15,740
inertia yes having that asset of minds

476
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:18,050
that have in that and momentum why I'm

477
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:21,970
saying that in relation to your question

478
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:25,220
is to the few doesn't always necessarily

479
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:27,470
come across as recognizable scariness

480
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:30,170
it's a lot of the time its internal

481
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:32,720
resistance right so yeah absolutely in

482
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:36,950
everything I do when it's new whether it

483
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:41,000
was creating my business or or launching

484
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:44,240
a new pod business that comes up that

485
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,490
that internal resistance comes up and so

486
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:49,250
yeah absolutely knowing using the same

487
00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:53,270
processes that I teach my clients to get

488
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:54,710
over those internal resistance is you

489
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:57,370
know what I'm about and what I love to

490
00:20:54,710 --> 00:21:03,800
share with people because they work

491
00:20:57,370 --> 00:21:06,770
we're not doing them they would no I

492
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:09,770
agree they do work you know once you

493
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:11,900
address it take that recognition of it

494
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:16,000
and then address it in some way shape or

495
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:19,040
form you will see differences you know

496
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,900
mindset is one of the largest hurdles

497
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,240
that most people tend to face during

498
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:24,950
their journey I'm curious whether or not

499
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:28,670
you find there to be some sort of

500
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:31,670
recurring language or specific phrases

501
00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:33,170
that people tend to use when you're

502
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:35,210
working with clients so in other words

503
00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:37,100
throughout your client base do you find

504
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:39,710
that there's a resounding fear that

505
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:41,450
everyone tends to have Lori that's a

506
00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:42,950
great question and here's how I'm going

507
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:45,050
to answer that I'll give you an example

508
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:47,810
I think there's a really good way of

509
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:52,490
illustrating it when I was writing my

510
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:54,350
book all right and it's a process to

511
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:57,110
write a book and anyone who's written in

512
00:21:54,350 --> 00:22:00,800
their book will know this it takes a lot

513
00:21:57,110 --> 00:22:02,750
of discipline to be able to finish the

514
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,580
book right it's one thing I think the

515
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:07,190
statistic is I forget the exact number

516
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:08,630
but it's really high number it's like 90

517
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,920
something percent of people want to

518
00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:11,360
write a book or one day would love to

519
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,809
write a book but yet the percentage of

520
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:15,600
people that actually do and publish

521
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:18,980
the book is very small and I believe

522
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:21,779
it's it's due to this phenomenon isn't

523
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:23,999
having the tools to deal with your own

524
00:22:21,779 --> 00:22:25,320
internal resistance around doing

525
00:22:23,999 --> 00:22:28,169
something and following through with

526
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,450
something so how I do that during the

527
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:32,580
book writing process and I think this is

528
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,499
a process that anyone can take to use

529
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,809
around anything whether it's writing a

530
00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:42,769
book or learning something new is to

531
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:45,480
have what I call a practice around

532
00:22:42,769 --> 00:22:47,249
debunking firstly noticing what the

533
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,919
little voices are that's coming up the

534
00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:51,840
internal resistant voices and then a way

535
00:22:49,919 --> 00:22:53,669
to get you out of it to take action

536
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,649
anymore because it sounds like very

537
00:22:53,669 --> 00:22:58,830
theoretical right so here's how I

538
00:22:55,649 --> 00:23:01,409
implement it on a practical basis all

539
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:03,450
right take any piece of paper or even a

540
00:23:01,409 --> 00:23:06,269
word document which is what I use during

541
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:09,149
my writing process as a very specific

542
00:23:06,269 --> 00:23:12,330
example I would make myself sit there

543
00:23:09,149 --> 00:23:14,580
every single weekday morning between you

544
00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:17,190
know it's like 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.

545
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:19,350
I'm gonna spend one hour writing part of

546
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:23,700
this book all right and so I would sit

547
00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:26,669
there and start noticing those internal

548
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:29,100
resistant voices that come up and each

549
00:23:26,669 --> 00:23:31,080
one that came up I would literally go to

550
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:33,450
my word document and type it out in

551
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,999
bullet points I won't get this done on

552
00:23:33,450 --> 00:23:38,580
time there's so much writing I'm never

553
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:41,279
gonna finish it there's a long way to go

554
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:43,860
right I won't be able to do it like

555
00:23:41,279 --> 00:23:46,619
whatever it is I didn't make them wrong

556
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:48,539
I allow them to come up and all I did

557
00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:49,919
was document them and just by the type

558
00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:51,869
type type site okay that's what's there

559
00:23:49,919 --> 00:23:54,179
right now tak tak tak tak so in the

560
00:23:51,869 --> 00:23:57,119
middle of the word document I would draw

561
00:23:54,179 --> 00:23:59,220
a line on the other side of the document

562
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:02,460
next the bullet points that I had just

563
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:04,499
listed it would be what would my best

564
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:06,330
friend say to me what are the empowering

565
00:24:04,499 --> 00:24:09,090
voices that my best friend would say to

566
00:24:06,330 --> 00:24:10,559
me if I went to her with this concern so

567
00:24:09,090 --> 00:24:12,299
for example I want to get it done on

568
00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:14,369
time there's not another so much writing

569
00:24:12,299 --> 00:24:15,929
I'll never finish it if I took this

570
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,970
concern to my best friend she would say

571
00:24:15,929 --> 00:24:20,690
and I literally wrote this down in

572
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:23,220
bullet points you're making progress

573
00:24:20,690 --> 00:24:25,529
rome wasn't built in a day

574
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:26,640
anything worth writing is worth spending

575
00:24:25,529 --> 00:24:30,600
time on

576
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:32,820
focus on baby steps moving forward and

577
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:36,059
then once I got all that out I was like

578
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:38,760
oh my lip my state of mind literally

579
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:40,980
shifted from I can't do this I can't do

580
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,900
it oh yeah you're absolutely right yeah

581
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:46,280
that's so true and then I would switch

582
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:46,280
back to the other page and start writing

583
00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:53,820
yeah so that is a very simple simple

584
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:57,420
methodology that you you your list you

585
00:24:53,820 --> 00:24:59,730
and your listeners can use to get

586
00:24:57,420 --> 00:25:03,030
yourself out of that loop that little

587
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:05,690
loop that that tends to we sit in like a

588
00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:08,970
little cul-de-sac that we're sit in and

589
00:25:05,690 --> 00:25:10,919
stew in and not be able to take action

590
00:25:08,970 --> 00:25:13,110
you say with what I'm saying it's it's

591
00:25:10,919 --> 00:25:16,799
just very it's a very practical way of

592
00:25:13,110 --> 00:25:18,600
doing it and so what I ended up doing at

593
00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:19,980
the end of it let's see how long did it

594
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,600
take me to write the book until it was

595
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:23,070
ready for editing probably six months

596
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,530
right approximately six months until I

597
00:25:23,070 --> 00:25:27,000
finished the first draft of the book or

598
00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:29,490
until it was ready for a professional

599
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,010
editor to look at right and so during

600
00:25:29,490 --> 00:25:34,590
the six months as you can imagine that

601
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:36,360
word document of the little voice

602
00:25:34,590 --> 00:25:38,400
internal resistance voice versus the

603
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:42,840
best friend voice that document became

604
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:44,940
very very long long right and because

605
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,440
even if the same voice came up from

606
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:47,970
yesterday from the day before I didn't

607
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,620
care I didn't look at it and go oh it's

608
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:52,230
a duplicate voice ocean write it down no

609
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:54,330
I wrote it down anyway but at the end of

610
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,190
that six month process right this is

611
00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:59,400
where my nerdiness comes across because

612
00:25:56,190 --> 00:26:03,000
I'm constantly trying to figure out

613
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:05,490
tools and processes of how I can get

614
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,260
over my own conquer my own internal

615
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:09,360
resistance so that I can create what I

616
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:12,419
need to contribute into the world and I

617
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:15,510
know that I am the biggest hurdle in my

618
00:26:12,419 --> 00:26:17,040
own biggest barrier of what I can

619
00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:19,080
produce like the ideas that I have

620
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:22,080
versus an being manifested physically

621
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:25,309
out into the world these barrier and so

622
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:27,870
I am the person to figure out how to

623
00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:30,360
conquer my own inner resistance when it

624
00:26:27,870 --> 00:26:32,460
comes up so this long long long word

625
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,230
document that ended up having as a

626
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:35,880
result of writing down my little voices

627
00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:38,700
and bestfriends voices every single day

628
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,210
of my writing I talked I went through it

629
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:43,090
meticulously

630
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:43,840
and categorized all of the little voices

631
00:26:43,090 --> 00:26:47,020
okay

632
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:50,890
and then here's what I found I found one

633
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:53,740
two three four five categories the five

634
00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:56,890
categories then I noticed the inner

635
00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:58,960
critic voices came were in the form of

636
00:26:56,890 --> 00:27:01,690
and if like if I had to put them under

637
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,300
umbrellas they would be grouped this way

638
00:27:01,690 --> 00:27:08,650
the first category out of the five is

639
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:10,510
overwhelm you feel very overwhelmed so

640
00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:13,150
the example to answer your question the

641
00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:16,300
example common little voices that would

642
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:18,700
come up as a part of feeling overwhelmed

643
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:20,860
is I don't want I won't get this done on

644
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:22,480
time there's so much to do what are you

645
00:27:20,860 --> 00:27:23,650
but I'm finisher there's such a long way

646
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,080
to go I'll never finish it

647
00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:28,780
so that's overwhelm it never got this

648
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,380
done right that's overwhelm the second

649
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:34,170
category is it's too hard it's too

650
00:27:31,380 --> 00:27:36,760
difficult the challenge is too great so

651
00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:39,040
the how it manifests is the little voice

652
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,320
saying the internal dialogue saying I

653
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,910
won't be able to do it I can't do it I

654
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,960
don't know how I just can't it's too

655
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:46,030
hard right

656
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,970
that's the second category the third

657
00:27:46,030 --> 00:27:54,910
category is that the internal dialogue

658
00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:57,490
attacks your own credibility okay so as

659
00:27:54,910 --> 00:28:00,100
an example the the internal dialogue

660
00:27:57,490 --> 00:28:03,010
might sound like this oh my god what if

661
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:05,620
I say this is all BS Oh what I'm saying

662
00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,790
is BS this is so good enough my writing

663
00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:07,720
is not good enough or whatever it is

664
00:28:06,790 --> 00:28:09,160
you're working on it's not good enough

665
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,720
this is BS and no one's ever gonna pay

666
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,550
attention to this what value do I have

667
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,460
to bring to the world this is this is

668
00:28:12,550 --> 00:28:17,170
nonsense right so noticing that that's

669
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:20,830
third category if it's attacking your

670
00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:22,330
own credibility okay and again I would

671
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:23,830
like to ask you and your listeners to

672
00:28:22,330 --> 00:28:26,710
see if you can relate to this and I'm

673
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:29,680
pretty sure you can the fourth category

674
00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:32,620
is the resistance to the work itself

675
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:36,490
okay so what that would sound like an

676
00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:38,320
internal dialogue would be good and I

677
00:28:36,490 --> 00:28:40,600
feel like doing the work right now I

678
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,940
didn't really feel like it do I have to

679
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:45,430
do it I just want to go out and have fun

680
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:46,930
I just want to watch TV I just want to

681
00:28:45,430 --> 00:28:48,520
have chocolate I just want to whatever

682
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:50,200
whatever exfilling the bank

683
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,630
I just want to XYZ I don't want to do it

684
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,530
right now so that's the resistance to

685
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:57,550
the work it's

686
00:28:53,530 --> 00:28:59,500
okay and in the last category is similar

687
00:28:57,550 --> 00:29:02,290
to attacking your own credibility but a

688
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:05,290
little bit more sharp a little bit more

689
00:29:02,290 --> 00:29:08,950
deep deep which is attacking your own

690
00:29:05,290 --> 00:29:09,850
self-worth yeah so it's like what's

691
00:29:08,950 --> 00:29:11,680
wrong with me

692
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:13,780
no one else seems to be struggling like

693
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:18,400
I am I am I need anyone who found it

694
00:29:13,780 --> 00:29:22,140
hard with me oh my god I was wrong so

695
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:27,100
it's literally attacking your self-worth

696
00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:29,410
right so this is from lots and lots of

697
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:31,300
examples of the data and when I and I've

698
00:29:29,410 --> 00:29:34,000
shared this with many many people since

699
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:36,490
and every person I've shared it with can

700
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:39,520
relate to most if not all of these

701
00:29:36,490 --> 00:29:41,410
categories right and so the idea to

702
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:44,290
answer your question in a very very long

703
00:29:41,410 --> 00:29:45,940
format is absolutely there are common in

704
00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:48,130
a critic internal voices that come up

705
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:50,710
all the time related to our fear related

706
00:29:48,130 --> 00:29:54,820
to our internal resistance and if you

707
00:29:50,710 --> 00:30:00,310
can relate to any of that no it's a

708
00:29:54,820 --> 00:30:02,110
human thing I love it no you're not the

709
00:30:00,310 --> 00:30:03,910
only one and I love those five

710
00:30:02,110 --> 00:30:06,520
categories that you provided the

711
00:30:03,910 --> 00:30:08,590
overwhelm it's too hard not good enough

712
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:11,080
resistance and so forth they're

713
00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:13,000
definitely all very relatable categories

714
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,130
that you know I'm sure entrepreneurs

715
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,250
across the board experienced in one way

716
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:19,990
shape or form I think what I thought was

717
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:21,490
most impressive about what you were

718
00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:23,770
stating just now to kind of want to

719
00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:26,110
rewind to you're expressing you know

720
00:30:23,770 --> 00:30:29,860
while you were writing the book how you

721
00:30:26,110 --> 00:30:32,050
just kept moving forward by using the

722
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:34,960
journal by using that document by

723
00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:37,330
creating the momentum with it not even

724
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:40,120
to look back to see if you've written up

725
00:30:37,330 --> 00:30:42,220
before debating on how many times you've

726
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,860
written this little voice down it didn't

727
00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:48,040
matter the point was to get it out to

728
00:30:44,860 --> 00:30:50,170
get it out and keep the momentum flowing

729
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,460
so I just wanted to kind of bring us

730
00:30:50,170 --> 00:30:54,070
back to that because I thought that was

731
00:30:51,460 --> 00:30:55,930
really important and kudos and Congrats

732
00:30:54,070 --> 00:30:59,320
once again on the book I absolutely

733
00:30:55,930 --> 00:31:01,870
loved it and can't wait to get to the

734
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:04,060
boot camp Mary I'd love for you to share

735
00:31:01,870 --> 00:31:06,280
you know once again a little bit about

736
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:06,759
what the boot camp will be like what

737
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,009
your

738
00:31:06,759 --> 00:31:13,269
to share there I'd like for you to also

739
00:31:09,009 --> 00:31:15,729
share your motivation why it is that you

740
00:31:13,269 --> 00:31:18,489
do what you do and why it is you're so

741
00:31:15,729 --> 00:31:20,619
excited to host this upcoming boot camp

742
00:31:18,489 --> 00:31:23,229
a great question thank you for asking so

743
00:31:20,619 --> 00:31:25,059
I have a 2-day boot camp it's a public

744
00:31:23,229 --> 00:31:28,089
speaking boot camp in here in the Boston

745
00:31:25,059 --> 00:31:30,519
area that I'll be holding it's on

746
00:31:28,089 --> 00:31:32,769
December the 9th and 10th is a Saturday

747
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:36,009
and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. so you

748
00:31:32,769 --> 00:31:38,079
get two full days of immersion if you

749
00:31:36,009 --> 00:31:40,749
liked what you heard already on the

750
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:42,699
podcast that is just a fraction of some

751
00:31:40,749 --> 00:31:45,339
of the things that I cover during the

752
00:31:42,699 --> 00:31:47,829
work in the boot camp so day one of the

753
00:31:45,339 --> 00:31:51,639
boot camp we spend a lot of time on the

754
00:31:47,829 --> 00:31:54,009
inner self so your internal dialogue of

755
00:31:51,639 --> 00:31:56,079
what's holding you back and what's

756
00:31:54,009 --> 00:31:58,749
keeping you from owning your full self

757
00:31:56,079 --> 00:32:00,639
expression as a public speaker and so

758
00:31:58,749 --> 00:32:03,059
day one will really spend a lot of time

759
00:32:00,639 --> 00:32:06,009
working on that looking at you and

760
00:32:03,059 --> 00:32:07,539
looking at the processes and guiding you

761
00:32:06,009 --> 00:32:09,719
through the processes and there's a lot

762
00:32:07,539 --> 00:32:12,819
of coaching that I do with you as well

763
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,739
so that we can have you have a

764
00:32:12,819 --> 00:32:18,399
transformational experience around

765
00:32:14,739 --> 00:32:20,529
public speaking and they one is what I

766
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:22,749
was talking earlier before how most

767
00:32:20,529 --> 00:32:25,959
public speaking training are missing

768
00:32:22,749 --> 00:32:28,089
nobody talks about the how do you

769
00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:30,489
address the internal dialogue that comes

770
00:32:28,089 --> 00:32:32,619
up that disempowers you during public

771
00:32:30,489 --> 00:32:35,259
speaking or even in preparations for a

772
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:37,839
presentation right so that we address in

773
00:32:35,259 --> 00:32:39,969
detail on day one day two of the

774
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:42,519
bootcamp is more to do with the

775
00:32:39,969 --> 00:32:44,499
mechanics however it's more than just

776
00:32:42,519 --> 00:32:47,079
the regular mechanics you hear about we

777
00:32:44,499 --> 00:32:50,259
dive into engaging storytelling how do

778
00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:53,169
you get your point across in the form of

779
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:55,359
a story so that you get the point across

780
00:32:53,169 --> 00:32:59,440
without boring people keep them engaged

781
00:32:55,359 --> 00:33:01,809
and they feel entertained so the idea is

782
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,029
having edutainment which is a

783
00:33:01,809 --> 00:33:06,459
combination of education and

784
00:33:04,029 --> 00:33:08,769
entertainment the more fun your audience

785
00:33:06,459 --> 00:33:10,059
has the more fun you have the better

786
00:33:08,769 --> 00:33:11,949
they're going to remember the content

787
00:33:10,059 --> 00:33:14,079
the more it's going to sink in anyway so

788
00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:16,419
we look into that we also look at the

789
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:20,550
human psychology of how to influence

790
00:33:16,419 --> 00:33:22,890
people and how we can as presenters

791
00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:25,740
use that so that we can influence our

792
00:33:22,890 --> 00:33:28,440
audience to action so we dive a lot into

793
00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:30,240
that on day two and why is it two days

794
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,390
in a row because then it gives you the

795
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:36,230
immersive experience and you are there

796
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:38,640
for my goal my intention is giving you a

797
00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:40,410
transformational experience not just of

798
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,990
public speaking but your own

799
00:33:40,410 --> 00:33:45,390
relationship to yourself and how you

800
00:33:42,990 --> 00:33:47,190
relate to public speaking so that when

801
00:33:45,390 --> 00:33:48,690
you come out of it you'll never think of

802
00:33:47,190 --> 00:33:51,420
public speaking the same way again

803
00:33:48,690 --> 00:33:54,000
okay so the idea is to empower you and

804
00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:55,620
give you the tools necessary to send you

805
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,080
on your way to become an amazing speaker

806
00:33:55,620 --> 00:34:01,440
and to answer your second question why

807
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,670
do I do what I do there's a that's a

808
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,820
great question because I think we should

809
00:34:02,670 --> 00:34:08,400
all start with the why and when I look

810
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:11,010
at my Y as to why I'm doing business

811
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,919
this is actually just one step of the

812
00:34:11,010 --> 00:34:15,840
larger vision that I have public

813
00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:17,970
speaking is definitely a huge component

814
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:20,070
of that and that's where my own

815
00:34:17,970 --> 00:34:21,870
credibility lies in terms of having

816
00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:23,970
conquered my own fear of public speaking

817
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:25,590
and now putting it out into the world in

818
00:34:23,970 --> 00:34:29,130
a bigger way than I have been in

819
00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:31,679
previous years of my life such as

820
00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:33,630
putting that book out such as these boot

821
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:35,880
camps such as doing many more podcast

822
00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:38,040
interviews and getting the word out

823
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,929
about you inner critic and how we all

824
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,110
have the common fears and all have that

825
00:34:39,929 --> 00:34:45,149
internal negative dialog to separate

826
00:34:43,110 --> 00:34:47,550
ourselves from it because one one big

827
00:34:45,149 --> 00:34:49,140
part of the solution is to notice it and

828
00:34:47,550 --> 00:34:52,080
then to distinguish it so that there's

829
00:34:49,140 --> 00:34:54,960
space between you and that negative

830
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:57,330
internal dialogue and within that space

831
00:34:54,960 --> 00:35:01,620
then you can choose right I feel like

832
00:34:57,330 --> 00:35:04,560
this is a fundamental skill that is not

833
00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:07,260
taught in schools it's a fundamental

834
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:09,450
skill that's not taught in many families

835
00:35:07,260 --> 00:35:12,030
I certainly did not learn it from my

836
00:35:09,450 --> 00:35:13,860
parents and it was a skill that I had to

837
00:35:12,030 --> 00:35:15,830
learn it because I was dealing with

838
00:35:13,860 --> 00:35:19,560
these difficulties in everyday life

839
00:35:15,830 --> 00:35:20,970
which I needed to have tools to be able

840
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,890
to deal with it and move forward and

841
00:35:20,970 --> 00:35:25,320
contribute to the world what I need what

842
00:35:22,890 --> 00:35:27,780
I'm here to contribute and I feel like

843
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:30,720
it's a right for everyone to know how to

844
00:35:27,780 --> 00:35:32,910
do this for themselves oh and I feel

845
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:33,500
very strongly that I was put on this

846
00:35:32,910 --> 00:35:36,920
planet

847
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:39,440
to help contribute in that way to teach

848
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:41,660
and to educate people on how to empower

849
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,760
themselves so this public speaking

850
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:46,010
component is a huge part of that going

851
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,920
forward for example I'm working on my

852
00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:51,410
third book which is just a way of how do

853
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,900
I mean writing and speaking these are

854
00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:56,510
just mediums right mediums for what a

855
00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:58,190
mediums to communicate a message so the

856
00:35:56,510 --> 00:36:00,740
what and what is the message right the

857
00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:02,300
message is and what I'm working on now

858
00:36:00,740 --> 00:36:05,320
in creating and putting out into the

859
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:08,630
world on a larger scale is how to

860
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:10,940
process your own emotions so that you

861
00:36:08,630 --> 00:36:12,410
can process them in an empowering way

862
00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:14,840
and in a healthy way

863
00:36:12,410 --> 00:36:17,090
that brings you out to bring whatever

864
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,820
your gifts are into the world in a

865
00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:22,670
bigger way and I feel like this is my

866
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:24,170
passion it's my calling even though it

867
00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:29,060
sounds really glamorous right all it's

868
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:33,830
my calling it really is in some ways

869
00:36:29,060 --> 00:36:35,450
it's almost a burden right because it's

870
00:36:33,830 --> 00:36:37,070
great when the motivation sounds like

871
00:36:35,450 --> 00:36:38,810
yeah I'm totally gonna bring this out

872
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:40,850
into the world yeah I'm totally gonna do

873
00:36:38,810 --> 00:36:42,620
that but then once the motivation leaves

874
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:44,390
as it always does because it comes in

875
00:36:42,620 --> 00:36:46,790
ways when you're at the bottom of that

876
00:36:44,390 --> 00:36:49,250
motivation curve now now it appears like

877
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:51,050
now I've got to do this thing right I

878
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:53,840
can't go back to those internal

879
00:36:51,050 --> 00:36:54,860
resistance voices so noticing that and

880
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,980
still bringing it out into the world

881
00:36:54,860 --> 00:37:01,010
because I'm so clear for myself it's an

882
00:36:57,980 --> 00:37:02,180
inner internal intuitive knowing that

883
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:05,030
this is what I'm meant to do right now

884
00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:07,010
and bringing that out into the world is

885
00:37:05,030 --> 00:37:08,600
what keeps me going because you know I

886
00:37:07,010 --> 00:37:12,170
look at my clients I look at the people

887
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:13,910
that I work with that takes what I teach

888
00:37:12,170 --> 00:37:15,910
them takes the processes that I teach

889
00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:20,330
them that I guide them through and

890
00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:21,950
totally owning it and totally embracing

891
00:37:20,330 --> 00:37:23,930
it as their own and then seeing the

892
00:37:21,950 --> 00:37:26,540
results that they produce in their world

893
00:37:23,930 --> 00:37:28,730
in this era life that's what keeps me

894
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:31,190
going because ultimately it's not about

895
00:37:28,730 --> 00:37:32,810
me I'm just a medium through which this

896
00:37:31,190 --> 00:37:34,280
message is coming through and when I can

897
00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:36,380
see the results that my client has

898
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,730
produced for themselves that's what

899
00:37:36,380 --> 00:37:39,710
makes it rewarding for me that's that

900
00:37:37,730 --> 00:37:43,520
that's what keeps me going and motivated

901
00:37:39,710 --> 00:37:46,070
it's really important to be able to see

902
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,680
the changes that you're capable of

903
00:37:46,070 --> 00:37:49,350
created

904
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:52,980
in others in order to keep that momentum

905
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:56,220
going but having the ability to reframe

906
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:58,980
and deal with the personal internal

907
00:37:56,220 --> 00:38:00,780
dialogue and those pieces for yourself

908
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,220
from watching those changes occur for

909
00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:04,740
others I think it's something that

910
00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:07,140
probably really does help you in terms

911
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:09,390
of that momentum and moving forward the

912
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:11,460
ability to witness those change if you

913
00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:14,790
could wave this magic wand and rid

914
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:16,740
everyone of their inner critic what do

915
00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:19,880
you think the impact would be for the

916
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:23,670
public speaking industry as a whole

917
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:26,790
hmm great I feel like there are so many

918
00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:30,150
gifts that that we have like yourself as

919
00:38:26,790 --> 00:38:32,280
well as the listeners and many people

920
00:38:30,150 --> 00:38:33,690
even know what those potential gifts are

921
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,450
that they have to offer to the world and

922
00:38:33,690 --> 00:38:38,700
then to bring that out into the physical

923
00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:40,590
world and manifesting that you know in

924
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,810
ways that other people can use or in in

925
00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:45,150
ways that that contribute value to the

926
00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:47,910
to the community to the world to people

927
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:50,250
outside of themselves whatever those

928
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:53,100
gifts are then those are just going to

929
00:38:50,250 --> 00:38:56,130
be manifested I had this someone mentor

930
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:57,240
that used to say the you know I'm gonna

931
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:58,620
paraphrase because I don't remember the

932
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:00,210
exact phrase but it's something along

933
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:02,160
the lines of you know what is the

934
00:39:00,210 --> 00:39:04,260
richest place in the world you know is

935
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,510
it the the mines in Africa you know

936
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:08,790
dying where the diamonds are no is it

937
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:13,110
where the gold is no the richest place

938
00:39:08,790 --> 00:39:15,380
in the world is cemeteries and and and

939
00:39:13,110 --> 00:39:20,220
the reason he mentioned that is because

940
00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:23,670
he says how many books were not written

941
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:25,890
how many songs were not composed how

942
00:39:23,670 --> 00:39:29,370
many businesses that could provide value

943
00:39:25,890 --> 00:39:31,020
were never created because the people

944
00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:32,190
were in their own way and you know how

945
00:39:31,020 --> 00:39:33,810
to get out of their way and so those

946
00:39:32,190 --> 00:39:36,480
books were not written that song was not

947
00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:38,580
written so all of the resources all of

948
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,170
the things that we could that we could

949
00:39:38,580 --> 00:39:43,500
as individuals bring out into the world

950
00:39:40,170 --> 00:39:45,330
did not get put out simply because we we

951
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:47,250
either didn't know how to get our own

952
00:39:45,330 --> 00:39:49,260
ways or that inner critic was so

953
00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:51,300
prominent we didn't have processes to

954
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:52,380
get around it and so it wasn't your

955
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:55,890
gifts weren't shared with the world

956
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:57,510
right and so with that magic wand if

957
00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:59,790
everybody could just get rid of the

958
00:39:57,510 --> 00:40:01,890
inner critic and and or at least

959
00:39:59,790 --> 00:40:04,260
how to get around that said it doesn't

960
00:40:01,890 --> 00:40:07,320
stop them anymore the world would look

961
00:40:04,260 --> 00:40:10,350
like a very very different place I was

962
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:12,360
reading recently and that I forget the

963
00:40:10,350 --> 00:40:15,510
exact percentage but it was a very very

964
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:17,820
high percentage of how many people who

965
00:40:15,510 --> 00:40:19,860
are employees in the corporate world are

966
00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:21,540
dissatisfied and disengaged with their

967
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:22,830
own jobs they're there for the Paycheck

968
00:40:21,540 --> 00:40:24,660
they're there just for that you know to

969
00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:27,300
make a living and they're not living

970
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:29,520
their dreams whether the dream is a

971
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:31,380
business or not right the inner critic

972
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:36,240
will get in the way of you manifesting

973
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:37,830
that so I think that by having by by not

974
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:41,370
allowing the inner critic to get in the

975
00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:43,860
way will then give you the space to be

976
00:40:41,370 --> 00:40:45,870
able to pursue those things that you

977
00:40:43,860 --> 00:40:47,640
feel are important in the world and you

978
00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:49,170
feel that that make you happy

979
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:54,650
you know the things that bring you joy

980
00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:58,380
that bring you bliss and if you can now

981
00:40:54,650 --> 00:41:00,600
transmogrify that or or project that out

982
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:02,010
into the future if everybody was to be

983
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,710
able to do that what a different world

984
00:41:02,010 --> 00:41:07,260
it would be I thought it was just to

985
00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:09,770
bring it back as you were paraphrasing

986
00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:14,040
the richest place in the world and and

987
00:41:09,770 --> 00:41:16,380
how much value has been missed I think

988
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:18,860
it's it's definitely something that

989
00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:21,750
everyone be it's someone who is

990
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:24,780
interested in an entrepreneurial journey

991
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:26,610
for those of you who were just listening

992
00:41:24,780 --> 00:41:28,410
because you're just interested in the

993
00:41:26,610 --> 00:41:30,300
show you're not interested in an

994
00:41:28,410 --> 00:41:31,710
entrepreneurial journey but you're

995
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:34,410
thinking about moving forward with

996
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:36,930
something else in life the inner critic

997
00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:38,700
is something that comes up for all of us

998
00:41:36,930 --> 00:41:41,070
no matter what kind of a journey were on

999
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:43,950
the it entrepreneurial or not I can only

1000
00:41:41,070 --> 00:41:46,620
imagine what it would be like if so Mary

1001
00:41:43,950 --> 00:41:48,840
you've been absolutely wonderful I love

1002
00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:51,240
having you on the show I love chatting

1003
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,640
with you please share the best way for

1004
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:55,860
our listeners to find you thank you so

1005
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,420
much I enjoy being on the show it's such

1006
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:59,010
a pleasure to the phone sometimes I

1007
00:41:57,420 --> 00:42:00,840
forget there might even be listeners

1008
00:41:59,010 --> 00:42:03,060
because it's like it's a conversation

1009
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:05,010
between you and I which is a testament

1010
00:42:03,060 --> 00:42:07,380
to what a good host you are so I want to

1011
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:08,400
knowledge you as well thank you thank

1012
00:42:07,380 --> 00:42:12,500
you thank you

1013
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,500
so my website is

1014
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:20,370
I'm calm magnetic podium is one word and

1015
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:22,950
one of the best ways to get in touch

1016
00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:25,800
with me I would suggest is when you go

1017
00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:28,050
to my website magnetic podium calm in

1018
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:31,020
the upper right hand corner the menu if

1019
00:42:28,050 --> 00:42:32,580
you hover over contact there's a contact

1020
00:42:31,020 --> 00:42:34,950
form which you could fill out in text or

1021
00:42:32,580 --> 00:42:37,680
you can click on schedule a call with

1022
00:42:34,950 --> 00:42:39,330
Mary and then you can schedule a

1023
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,520
complimentary short call fifteen to

1024
00:42:39,330 --> 00:42:43,260
thirty minute call to see if there is a

1025
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,850
way that I can help you I would love to

1026
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:46,740
learn about you know what your

1027
00:42:44,850 --> 00:42:49,320
challenges are what your goals are

1028
00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:53,130
whether it's around public speaking or

1029
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:54,330
just getting more clarity in general you

1030
00:42:53,130 --> 00:42:56,160
know some of the things we spoke about

1031
00:42:54,330 --> 00:42:57,750
on the podcast if it resonates with you

1032
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:00,180
I would love to see if there's any way

1033
00:42:57,750 --> 00:43:03,570
that I can help you we will be sure to

1034
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:06,510
link to magnetic podium comm and we will

1035
00:43:03,570 --> 00:43:10,170
be sure to link to the specific page to

1036
00:43:06,510 --> 00:43:11,880
sign up for the book so that if you in

1037
00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:14,430
fact didn't get a chance to check that

1038
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,770
link out during the last episode we will

1039
00:43:14,430 --> 00:43:19,560
be sure that that link is there present

1040
00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:23,280
yourself in public speaking and also a

1041
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:25,320
link to contact you know a link to the

1042
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,510
direct contact page to contact you so

1043
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:29,310
get in touch if you're interested in the

1044
00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:32,250
boot camp that is coming up December

1045
00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:35,760
ninth and tenth Saturday and Sunday I

1046
00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:38,220
will be there with Mary for this boot

1047
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,740
camp so we look forward to seeing all of

1048
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:42,780
you there Mary thank you again and I

1049
00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:44,310
look forward to hanging up soon thanks

1050
00:43:42,780 --> 00:43:45,960
Laurie I'm so excited to see you in

1051
00:43:44,310 --> 00:43:48,000
December as well thanks for having me

1052
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,740
Mary thank you once again for joining us

1053
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,990
this week I am super excited about

1054
00:43:49,740 --> 00:43:53,640
joining you for your two-day present

1055
00:43:51,990 --> 00:43:55,740
yourself in public speaking boot camp

1056
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,300
this weekend techie community thank you

1057
00:43:55,740 --> 00:43:59,820
guys for hanging out with us for this

1058
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:02,070
episode and be sure to join Mary Ann I

1059
00:43:59,820 --> 00:44:04,530
live in Bluebird Mass for her to Day

1060
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:04,980
present yourself in public speaking boot

1061
00:44:04,530 --> 00:44:07,200
camp

1062
00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:08,700
December 9th and 10th I've included a

1063
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:11,220
link in the show notes page for easy

1064
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:14,370
access you can reach out to Mary via her

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00:44:11,220 --> 00:44:15,960
website at magnetic podium comm you can

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00:44:14,370 --> 00:44:17,570
also register and reach out to Mary

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00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:21,270
through our show notes page at

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technology - quality comm forward slash

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your talents thank you once again for

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joining us for this episode number

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74 and until our next episode when we

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continue to hear the journey find the

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pain and create solutions enjoy the beat

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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you

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and so if that ever comes up for you or

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if you're hearing it now and you can

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relate to it and you go oh my god that

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totally happened to me from Boston

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Massachusetts you're listening to the

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technology equals equality podcast

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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welcome back to the technology cause

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equality podcast I'm your host Lori

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Brooks and this is episode 74 I am very

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pleased to welcome public speaker author

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and coach Mary Sheen back to the show

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Mary originally joined us for episode 71

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to discuss the pink elephant in the room

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the public speakers don't speak about

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this week Mary is back to show you how

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you can begin silencing your inner

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critic - Mary welcome back and thank you

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so much for joining us again today thank

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you Laurie I am so excited to be back on

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I have you back on you are a ginormous

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part of this journey of mine over here

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at this point Mary for my listeners sake

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if you didn't get that chance to check

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out that episode as I mentioned a moment

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ago you should check it out as I have

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shared that I did have the opportunity

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to read Mary's book and I am super

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excited about my own public speaking

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journey as I have just before we started

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recording this episode enrolled in

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Mary's upcoming boot camp in December so

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Mary I'd love for you to develop you

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know a little bit more about the boot

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camp as we kind of get into this episode

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a little bit further but what I'd like

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to kind of do is take it back to what we

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were touching base on as I was

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registering was kind of that fear that I

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was dealing with taking that next step

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in my own journey because I'm positive

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that it's a fear and a feeling that a

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lot of entrepreneurs come across that

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hesitation of investing in themselves or

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taking that next step on their journey

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or getting on a stage or hosting that

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webinar there's that that pops up that

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makes you hesitate so I was sharing with

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you the reframe and and what I was

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working on my

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so and I'm just curious what have you

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found to be the most common fear that

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you've come across with clients

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great question wonderful wonderful

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question there are many different fears

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that we have when as human beings when

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we step outside our comfort zone okay I

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think your listeners are probably

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like-minded like you and I said they

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probably heard that by now but how I

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want to break that down and unpack it

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for people so that there's a more

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nuanced understanding of how to combat

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your own fears when they come up is

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always work on noticing what your

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internal dialogue is all right because

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thoughts lead to emotion and how you

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feel so paying attention to how you feel

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when the fears come up and then asking

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yourself what is actually causing this

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fear right and so one of the most common

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fears is to answer your question more

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directly is in terms of public speaking

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especially is I don't want to look

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stupid

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or something around that genre that

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theme of stupidity right so I don't want

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to feel stupid I don't want to look

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stupid I don't want to appear stupid and

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that is one of the most common

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underlying themes of why people avoid

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public speaking or when they do somehow

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have to do it or feel like they need to

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do it that fear is there with them as

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they open their mouths for the first

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time on the stage behind the scene so

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it's nothing like a consciously thinking

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I don't want to look stupid anyone looks

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stupid it's a subconscious fear that's

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lurking just behind it so that just

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behind the the surface on the periphery

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and that's why there's this more obvious

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fear around well I've got to be probe

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eggs I hope I prepare enough I hope I

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don't say anything that's gonna

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discredit myself and very closely

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related to that fear is the what I've

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noticed with the clients and people that

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I work with and you know as you know

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you've read my book I talked about it at

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length in my book is this fear of being

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found out

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okay so what that means is the impostor

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syndrome you may have heard of this many

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people have not right but there's this

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common concept out there called the

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impostor syndrome and I can tell you and

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so what that means is you know in a very

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high level is whatever you're doing

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whatever your the value you're providing

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to the audience or however you show up

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to help the audience there's a feeling

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in the background of I'm just faking it

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I'm not really a you know X Y or Z

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whatever you're doing in life whoever

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you are representing I'm not really that

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I'm not really an expert on this topic

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and so that becomes a fear in itself of

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being found out okay so first of all

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that is a very common thing that happens

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for people and so if that ever comes up

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for you or if you're hearing it now and

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you can relate to it and you go oh my

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god that totally happens to me then just

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first of all know that it's normal that

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it comes up for many many people just

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the fact that you're a human being and

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the fact that you are stepping outside

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your comfort zone and whatever that

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looks like for you that will come up or

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that a similar fear will come up is the

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fact that it's the new effect that you

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are outside your comfort zone there's as

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part of your brain that kicks in that

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tries to keep you safe right that keep

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you safe don't go out the comfort zone

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you know this is perceived threat but

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something's going to happen to you so

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this fear is not something that you want

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to suppress or wish that it wasn't there

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or there's something wrong with you

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because the fear is there no the idea is

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to notice it when it comes up and it's

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normal and then to proceed in the

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direction that you choose because you

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know you're growing and you know you

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want to take next step in this direction

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whether it's contributing more or

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stepping up your game whatever that

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looks like for you and in public

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speaking it usually means speaking

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outside of your comfort zone so in other

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words if you were used to say speaking

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in front of a group of you know five to

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ten P

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Paul about a topic that you're very very

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familiar with so your next level of

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comfort zone might be speaking in front

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of 50 to 200 people in a new topic right

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a topic that you want to contribute but

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you haven't you're not very practiced in

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giving that topic and so that isn't by

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nature outside of the comfort zone

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because there's something new right so

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anytime you endeavor in presenting

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something new or stepping outside your

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comfort zone in any kind of sense

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whether it's a new skill you're learning

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or you're endeavoring to have your own

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business now for the first time you know

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creating a new area of business you

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haven't created before anything like

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that that's outside your comfort zone

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the idea is notice when the fear comes

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up and because you know for sure that's

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the direction you want to travel you

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want to notice that internal dialogue

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and the fear and then moving forward

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despite of that fear that is the trick

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my friend and that is worth if you can

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do that and you can do that consistently

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and internally coach yourself to not let

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the fear stop you from taking the

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antigen that is the Holy Grail right

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there definitely it's about making sure

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that you take the actions whatever that

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that fear that hesitation is felt I tend

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to notice or recognizing myself that

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there's something that I need to follow

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through with there something that I need

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to move forward with it's not

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necessarily the easiest thing to go

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about recognizing you're noticing do you

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find that there are more female clients

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versus male clients do you think that

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there's a difference in the way females

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versus males approach this sort of

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hesitation or the fear that's a great

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question and I would I think it's both I

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think there are commonalities and there

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are slight differences as well the

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commonality being the baseline is

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whether you're male or female we have

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one thing in common and that is that

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were all humans right so as human beings

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we definitely share the same mechanics

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of how when we are endeavoring to do

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something new learn something

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and oh it's going to be those awkward

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moments at the beginning and you know

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that that in itself is a commonality

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between men and women now if I had to

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separate them and I talked a little bit

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about this in my book about the

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differences between men and women

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especially when it comes to dealing with

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public speaking is there are some

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biological differences between men and

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women and the way the way I described it

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in the book is for men

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the primary chemistry I guess is

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dominated by testosterone right there's

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this dark side you know quote-unquote

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dark side of testosterone is violence

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when there's too much of it there's

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there happens to be the violence right

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for women were wired differently just by

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nature and that our predominant chemical

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is estrogen right the way women socially

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bond traditionally is through nurturing

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each other right

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the nature of nurturing each other and

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then the dark side quotient again the

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dark side of how females function is the

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the tendency to exclude okay so for

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example and this is and you know this is

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not me me creating this it's very well

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known this is the phenomenon that you

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would see in movies or in books like

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this is a movie for except me and girls

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and there's plenty other examples like

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that and a book called queen bees and

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wannabes right it's a very well known

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phenomenon and and women as we grow up

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well maybe when we get to between years

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the teenagers were experience this in

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the peer pressure where it's the

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exclusion happens in the form of which

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is nice I'm not your friend right and so

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there's this exclusion that happens and

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so because we're wired that way there is

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this tendency for women to to have the

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predisposition to want to be like yeah

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and so what that means wanting to be

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liked the opposite of that is not

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wanting to be ousted

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not wanting to be rejected and I'm sure

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Lori if you would ask any

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your female listeners they either have

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experienced it themselves somewhere

262
00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:13,799
along their growing up journey or they

263
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:17,369
know of somebody close to them who's

264
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:21,149
experienced being ousted right and I

265
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:22,980
myself have as well many times if I was

266
00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:26,249
showing this story with my one of my

267
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:29,309
friends in the fifth grade I was dumped

268
00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:30,839
by my best friend okay and that if

269
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:33,959
you've ever experienced it it's not a

270
00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:38,759
pleasant feeling and so there is this

271
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:39,959
tendency now to unconsciously want to be

272
00:11:38,759 --> 00:11:42,029
liked right

273
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:44,220
not wanting to be disliked and so the

274
00:11:42,029 --> 00:11:47,759
way it manifests in public speaking for

275
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:50,730
example is being consciously aware that

276
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:53,100
you're not there on the stage to be

277
00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:55,350
liked I mean it's my preference to be

278
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:57,420
liked and I'm you know it's great if you

279
00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:59,129
in during my audience and whatever I say

280
00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:01,619
resonates with you know oh I like her

281
00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:03,959
that's great that is my preference but

282
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:06,329
the purpose my primary purpose is being

283
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:08,489
in the stage is not for you to like me

284
00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:10,739
because I will say things that will

285
00:12:08,489 --> 00:12:12,869
probably wake you up in some way maybe

286
00:12:10,739 --> 00:12:15,389
even a little controversial maybe to you

287
00:12:12,869 --> 00:12:17,189
know trigger you deliberately so that I

288
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:18,720
can wake you up to these insights or

289
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:21,720
concepts that I'm trying to share with

290
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:24,059
you and so if my primary concern while

291
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,529
I'm the stage is to be light then that's

292
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:28,290
going to hold my whole back my

293
00:12:25,529 --> 00:12:30,239
expression right and so you know and not

294
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,619
to say that men don't have that men as

295
00:12:30,239 --> 00:12:33,360
human beings also you know would like to

296
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:35,819
be liked as well nobody I don't think

297
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:38,129
ever consciously just gets up that just

298
00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:40,769
not to be light but yeah that is a

299
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:43,079
slight difference in the way we're wired

300
00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:46,019
as men and women and in my experience I

301
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:49,739
work with both men and women men also

302
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:50,759
have a similar and I want to emphasize

303
00:12:49,739 --> 00:12:54,269
this point because I think it's

304
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:57,540
important also have the as human beings

305
00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:59,699
the fear of being rejected as well even

306
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:02,189
if it's more unconscious than

307
00:12:59,699 --> 00:13:05,160
subconscious and then the women however

308
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:06,600
they're not as what I've noticed in the

309
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:11,730
people that I work with they're not

310
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:14,759
necessarily as open about sharing those

311
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:16,799
fears right but once it's put on the

312
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:19,170
table once it's out there in the open

313
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:21,630
then you say oh yeah I have that

314
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:24,690
- and yes I have that - so I think it's

315
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:26,430
it is women are more susceptible to it

316
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:30,800
but men are definitely not exempt from

317
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:34,500
it in fact probably equally subjected to

318
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:35,760
the the same phenomenon but not as we

319
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:39,720
stress about it

320
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:42,959
it's just that it's not as commonly

321
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:45,540
discussed or as commonly recognized -

322
00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:48,959
that perception that recognition of it

323
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:51,120
may not be as available as it is to

324
00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:55,800
those who are looking or consciously

325
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:58,380
aware of their intent or interest in the

326
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:01,399
statement as you said you know the need

327
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:04,380
to be like right right yeah this is some

328
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:06,959
perception I need to look up his name

329
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:08,820
but there's this author a seeker who

330
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:11,490
talks about this at length and I learned

331
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:15,480
from him through his experiences that

332
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:17,870
the way men grow up is is more of a if

333
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,860
you were to share your feelings with

334
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:22,230
somebody like in your in your male

335
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,699
bonding group then it there is a high

336
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:26,550
chance that it could be perceived as a

337
00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:28,949
weakness you see and so that's why many

338
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:32,040
men don't share and end up bottling it

339
00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:33,870
up and you know in many ways that's

340
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,430
that's it's going to manifest the quirks

341
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:37,769
are going to manifest differently right

342
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:39,510
author about that that side of things -

343
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:42,360
mint which I can't speak to you cuz I'm

344
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:45,180
not one well no that's wonderful what

345
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,490
we'll do is we will put a link to either

346
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:50,130
his youtube channel or his website along

347
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:52,589
with the info about the bootcamp on the

348
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:54,180
show next page for the listeners and and

349
00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:56,610
links so that they can check them out

350
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:59,459
thank you for sharing that I know fear

351
00:14:56,610 --> 00:15:02,550
was really big player during your

352
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:05,970
journey as an entrepreneur and becoming

353
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:08,519
a speaker but I'm curious about whether

354
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:12,180
or not you feel like fear was also the

355
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:15,839
biggest player when launching your own

356
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:17,430
coaching firms so magnetic podium what

357
00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:19,260
do you feel was the difference between

358
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:22,079
the two and what if there was a

359
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:25,769
difference that is a great question I

360
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:28,800
think fear is a part of everyday life

361
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:30,269
and a fear is a part of the common limit

362
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:32,760
now Lee that we experience as human

363
00:15:30,269 --> 00:15:35,370
beings so it will be pervasive

364
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:38,130
you know whether it's whether it was me

365
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:40,250
learning to be a better speaker or me

366
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:43,260
launching my own business that

367
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:46,380
definitely is a commonality that that I

368
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:48,420
do have to get through in platoon to

369
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,770
continue launching the business and so

370
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,810
it's a training and communications

371
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:55,050
company with a coaching side of it as

372
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:57,000
well one-on-one coaching and how I now

373
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:59,250
describe it is its transformation or

374
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:04,980
public speaking so in other words it's

375
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:07,800
not necessarily addressing its core

376
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:09,270
purpose is not to address the just the

377
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,770
mechanics of speaking because I started

378
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:13,320
to notice that in the public speaking

379
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:15,150
training education world out there and I

380
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,520
myself through my journey have taken

381
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:21,120
many many many public speaking courses

382
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:24,360
and training courses and the gap that I

383
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:27,180
perceived when I started teaching public

384
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:30,320
speaking back in 2009 it became very

385
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:32,400
obvious to me that people's number one

386
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,440
obstacle that got in their way of

387
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,450
becoming the best most self-express

388
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,940
speaker that they can be what held them

389
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:40,890
back wasn't the mechanics which is what

390
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:43,110
was being taught so what I mean by

391
00:16:40,890 --> 00:16:45,030
mechanics is things like how do you

392
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:47,580
stand how do you use your voice how do

393
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:49,380
you structure a speech how do you what

394
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:51,870
is the message all of that is important

395
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:53,820
but was what was not being addressed was

396
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:57,150
pink elephant in the room so to speak

397
00:16:53,820 --> 00:17:01,560
which is the inner critic yourself right

398
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:03,870
so when you went so when I was creating

399
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,640
courses and writing my book about the

400
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:07,680
whole process of what I teach you how to

401
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:12,570
conquer your own inner critic it became

402
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:15,140
very readily apparent to me that if I'm

403
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:18,660
not myself constantly and consistently

404
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:21,690
working on my own inner critic and and

405
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:24,420
being able to identify it when it comes

406
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:27,959
up in proceeding despite of it then I

407
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:30,360
have no credibility teaching it okay so

408
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:32,150
as I was launching my company around

409
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:34,440
this concept and around what I teach

410
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:36,510
there is also something that I was

411
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:39,420
watching right what is my own inner

412
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:41,610
critic saying right now as I am

413
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:42,990
endeavoring to launch this business as

414
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:45,210
I'm you know building out the next

415
00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:47,169
components of my business and even in

416
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:49,510
writing the book

417
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:51,220
this all came up so it's fascinating

418
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:55,059
that you asked this question because the

419
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:58,120
fear that doesn't always come manifest

420
00:17:55,059 --> 00:18:00,100
itself as APU right right it's funny a

421
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,740
lot of the times actually it doesn't

422
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:04,899
manifest as an obvious like you're not

423
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:07,600
literally sitting there going I'm scared

424
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:10,269
right now right don't manifest that way

425
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:13,929
how how it's sometimes and often does

426
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:17,440
manifest is notice there's this internal

427
00:18:13,929 --> 00:18:19,539
resistance that happens right Steven

428
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:23,409
Pressfield who's a very well-known

429
00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:25,960
author he talks about this as well and

430
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:27,940
then and it's the equal and opposite

431
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:30,639
it's almost like there's two opposing

432
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:33,340
forces that's happening within us so one

433
00:18:30,639 --> 00:18:35,080
is we want to survive right as human

434
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:37,570
beings obviously we don't die we want to

435
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:40,320
survive so that's one force and then the

436
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:43,000
opposite force is we also want to grow I

437
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:45,429
want to grow as human beings we want to

438
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:47,110
evolve as human beings and what does

439
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:49,690
that mean that means we have to step

440
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:52,090
outside our comfort zone so these two

441
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:54,159
equal and opposite forces are happening

442
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,510
at the same time so I want to grow yeah

443
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,860
I want to grow and then you step outside

444
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:59,260
your comfort zone you're like oh no I

445
00:18:56,860 --> 00:19:01,450
need to survive I need to get back into

446
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:04,269
my comfort zone so these two opposite

447
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:06,940
forces are always working against each

448
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:09,190
other and it's not a good thing it's not

449
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:12,490
a bad thing it's a neutral thing to

450
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:14,529
notice and understand within our souls

451
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:17,200
because how it manifests on a daily

452
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:18,789
basis is for example if you are let's

453
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,230
say building out a new component to your

454
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,639
business you've never done it before or

455
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:22,870
you're working on a new speech a new

456
00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:26,289
presentation that you've never given

457
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:28,929
before and how it comes across inside

458
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:30,399
how did a dialogue if you were to notice

459
00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:33,639
within yourself might be something like

460
00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:35,710
oh I really don't want to do this right

461
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:38,350
now and it reveal I'd are such a hard

462
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:41,049
work I'm never gonna get this finished

463
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:44,620
right so that in itself is putting

464
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:46,929
dialogue into what that feeling is right

465
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:49,240
that feeling is always hard and I'm

466
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:51,549
gonna do it now I don't feel like it I'm

467
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,860
sure all of your listeners can relate to

468
00:19:51,549 --> 00:19:57,639
that and you're like oh that feeling of

469
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,880
hardwood that pushed that that that the

470
00:19:57,639 --> 00:20:01,760
the

471
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:05,030
distance of you know getting into motion

472
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:07,220
you got to really set yourself on this

473
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:09,650
path of paths in your own universe

474
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:13,070
aright like divine path the initial

475
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:15,740
inertia yes having that asset of minds

476
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:18,050
that have in that and momentum why I'm

477
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:21,970
saying that in relation to your question

478
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:25,220
is to the few doesn't always necessarily

479
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:27,470
come across as recognizable scariness

480
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:30,170
it's a lot of the time its internal

481
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:32,720
resistance right so yeah absolutely in

482
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:36,950
everything I do when it's new whether it

483
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:41,000
was creating my business or or launching

484
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:44,240
a new pod business that comes up that

485
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,490
that internal resistance comes up and so

486
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:49,250
yeah absolutely knowing using the same

487
00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:53,270
processes that I teach my clients to get

488
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:54,710
over those internal resistance is you

489
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:57,370
know what I'm about and what I love to

490
00:20:54,710 --> 00:21:03,800
share with people because they work

491
00:20:57,370 --> 00:21:06,770
we're not doing them they would no I

492
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:09,770
agree they do work you know once you

493
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:11,900
address it take that recognition of it

494
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:16,000
and then address it in some way shape or

495
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:19,040
form you will see differences you know

496
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,900
mindset is one of the largest hurdles

497
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,240
that most people tend to face during

498
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:24,950
their journey I'm curious whether or not

499
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:28,670
you find there to be some sort of

500
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:31,670
recurring language or specific phrases

501
00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:33,170
that people tend to use when you're

502
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:35,210
working with clients so in other words

503
00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:37,100
throughout your client base do you find

504
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:39,710
that there's a resounding fear that

505
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:41,450
everyone tends to have Lori that's a

506
00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:42,950
great question and here's how I'm going

507
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:45,050
to answer that I'll give you an example

508
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:47,810
I think there's a really good way of

509
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:52,490
illustrating it when I was writing my

510
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:54,350
book all right and it's a process to

511
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:57,110
write a book and anyone who's written in

512
00:21:54,350 --> 00:22:00,800
their book will know this it takes a lot

513
00:21:57,110 --> 00:22:02,750
of discipline to be able to finish the

514
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,580
book right it's one thing I think the

515
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:07,190
statistic is I forget the exact number

516
00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:08,630
but it's really high number it's like 90

517
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,920
something percent of people want to

518
00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:11,360
write a book or one day would love to

519
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,809
write a book but yet the percentage of

520
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:15,600
people that actually do and publish

521
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:18,980
the book is very small and I believe

522
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:21,779
it's it's due to this phenomenon isn't

523
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:23,999
having the tools to deal with your own

524
00:22:21,779 --> 00:22:25,320
internal resistance around doing

525
00:22:23,999 --> 00:22:28,169
something and following through with

526
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,450
something so how I do that during the

527
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:32,580
book writing process and I think this is

528
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,499
a process that anyone can take to use

529
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,809
around anything whether it's writing a

530
00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:42,769
book or learning something new is to

531
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:45,480
have what I call a practice around

532
00:22:42,769 --> 00:22:47,249
debunking firstly noticing what the

533
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,919
little voices are that's coming up the

534
00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:51,840
internal resistant voices and then a way

535
00:22:49,919 --> 00:22:53,669
to get you out of it to take action

536
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,649
anymore because it sounds like very

537
00:22:53,669 --> 00:22:58,830
theoretical right so here's how I

538
00:22:55,649 --> 00:23:01,409
implement it on a practical basis all

539
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:03,450
right take any piece of paper or even a

540
00:23:01,409 --> 00:23:06,269
word document which is what I use during

541
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:09,149
my writing process as a very specific

542
00:23:06,269 --> 00:23:12,330
example I would make myself sit there

543
00:23:09,149 --> 00:23:14,580
every single weekday morning between you

544
00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:17,190
know it's like 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.

545
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:19,350
I'm gonna spend one hour writing part of

546
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:23,700
this book all right and so I would sit

547
00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:26,669
there and start noticing those internal

548
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:29,100
resistant voices that come up and each

549
00:23:26,669 --> 00:23:31,080
one that came up I would literally go to

550
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:33,450
my word document and type it out in

551
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,999
bullet points I won't get this done on

552
00:23:33,450 --> 00:23:38,580
time there's so much writing I'm never

553
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:41,279
gonna finish it there's a long way to go

554
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:43,860
right I won't be able to do it like

555
00:23:41,279 --> 00:23:46,619
whatever it is I didn't make them wrong

556
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:48,539
I allow them to come up and all I did

557
00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:49,919
was document them and just by the type

558
00:23:48,539 --> 00:23:51,869
type type site okay that's what's there

559
00:23:49,919 --> 00:23:54,179
right now tak tak tak tak so in the

560
00:23:51,869 --> 00:23:57,119
middle of the word document I would draw

561
00:23:54,179 --> 00:23:59,220
a line on the other side of the document

562
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:02,460
next the bullet points that I had just

563
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:04,499
listed it would be what would my best

564
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:06,330
friend say to me what are the empowering

565
00:24:04,499 --> 00:24:09,090
voices that my best friend would say to

566
00:24:06,330 --> 00:24:10,559
me if I went to her with this concern so

567
00:24:09,090 --> 00:24:12,299
for example I want to get it done on

568
00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:14,369
time there's not another so much writing

569
00:24:12,299 --> 00:24:15,929
I'll never finish it if I took this

570
00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,970
concern to my best friend she would say

571
00:24:15,929 --> 00:24:20,690
and I literally wrote this down in

572
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:23,220
bullet points you're making progress

573
00:24:20,690 --> 00:24:25,529
rome wasn't built in a day

574
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:26,640
anything worth writing is worth spending

575
00:24:25,529 --> 00:24:30,600
time on

576
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:32,820
focus on baby steps moving forward and

577
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:36,059
then once I got all that out I was like

578
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:38,760
oh my lip my state of mind literally

579
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:40,980
shifted from I can't do this I can't do

580
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,900
it oh yeah you're absolutely right yeah

581
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:46,280
that's so true and then I would switch

582
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:46,280
back to the other page and start writing

583
00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:53,820
yeah so that is a very simple simple

584
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:57,420
methodology that you you your list you

585
00:24:53,820 --> 00:24:59,730
and your listeners can use to get

586
00:24:57,420 --> 00:25:03,030
yourself out of that loop that little

587
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:05,690
loop that that tends to we sit in like a

588
00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:08,970
little cul-de-sac that we're sit in and

589
00:25:05,690 --> 00:25:10,919
stew in and not be able to take action

590
00:25:08,970 --> 00:25:13,110
you say with what I'm saying it's it's

591
00:25:10,919 --> 00:25:16,799
just very it's a very practical way of

592
00:25:13,110 --> 00:25:18,600
doing it and so what I ended up doing at

593
00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:19,980
the end of it let's see how long did it

594
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,600
take me to write the book until it was

595
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:23,070
ready for editing probably six months

596
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,530
right approximately six months until I

597
00:25:23,070 --> 00:25:27,000
finished the first draft of the book or

598
00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:29,490
until it was ready for a professional

599
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,010
editor to look at right and so during

600
00:25:29,490 --> 00:25:34,590
the six months as you can imagine that

601
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:36,360
word document of the little voice

602
00:25:34,590 --> 00:25:38,400
internal resistance voice versus the

603
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:42,840
best friend voice that document became

604
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:44,940
very very long long right and because

605
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,440
even if the same voice came up from

606
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:47,970
yesterday from the day before I didn't

607
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,620
care I didn't look at it and go oh it's

608
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:52,230
a duplicate voice ocean write it down no

609
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:54,330
I wrote it down anyway but at the end of

610
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,190
that six month process right this is

611
00:25:54,330 --> 00:25:59,400
where my nerdiness comes across because

612
00:25:56,190 --> 00:26:03,000
I'm constantly trying to figure out

613
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:05,490
tools and processes of how I can get

614
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,260
over my own conquer my own internal

615
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:09,360
resistance so that I can create what I

616
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:12,419
need to contribute into the world and I

617
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:15,510
know that I am the biggest hurdle in my

618
00:26:12,419 --> 00:26:17,040
own biggest barrier of what I can

619
00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:19,080
produce like the ideas that I have

620
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:22,080
versus an being manifested physically

621
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:25,309
out into the world these barrier and so

622
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:27,870
I am the person to figure out how to

623
00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:30,360
conquer my own inner resistance when it

624
00:26:27,870 --> 00:26:32,460
comes up so this long long long word

625
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,230
document that ended up having as a

626
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:35,880
result of writing down my little voices

627
00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:38,700
and bestfriends voices every single day

628
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,210
of my writing I talked I went through it

629
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:43,090
meticulously

630
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:43,840
and categorized all of the little voices

631
00:26:43,090 --> 00:26:47,020
okay

632
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:50,890
and then here's what I found I found one

633
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:53,740
two three four five categories the five

634
00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:56,890
categories then I noticed the inner

635
00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:58,960
critic voices came were in the form of

636
00:26:56,890 --> 00:27:01,690
and if like if I had to put them under

637
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,300
umbrellas they would be grouped this way

638
00:27:01,690 --> 00:27:08,650
the first category out of the five is

639
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:10,510
overwhelm you feel very overwhelmed so

640
00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:13,150
the example to answer your question the

641
00:27:10,510 --> 00:27:16,300
example common little voices that would

642
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:18,700
come up as a part of feeling overwhelmed

643
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:20,860
is I don't want I won't get this done on

644
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:22,480
time there's so much to do what are you

645
00:27:20,860 --> 00:27:23,650
but I'm finisher there's such a long way

646
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,080
to go I'll never finish it

647
00:27:23,650 --> 00:27:28,780
so that's overwhelm it never got this

648
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,380
done right that's overwhelm the second

649
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:34,170
category is it's too hard it's too

650
00:27:31,380 --> 00:27:36,760
difficult the challenge is too great so

651
00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:39,040
the how it manifests is the little voice

652
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,320
saying the internal dialogue saying I

653
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,910
won't be able to do it I can't do it I

654
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,960
don't know how I just can't it's too

655
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:46,030
hard right

656
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,970
that's the second category the third

657
00:27:46,030 --> 00:27:54,910
category is that the internal dialogue

658
00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:57,490
attacks your own credibility okay so as

659
00:27:54,910 --> 00:28:00,100
an example the the internal dialogue

660
00:27:57,490 --> 00:28:03,010
might sound like this oh my god what if

661
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:05,620
I say this is all BS Oh what I'm saying

662
00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,790
is BS this is so good enough my writing

663
00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:07,720
is not good enough or whatever it is

664
00:28:06,790 --> 00:28:09,160
you're working on it's not good enough

665
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,720
this is BS and no one's ever gonna pay

666
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,550
attention to this what value do I have

667
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,460
to bring to the world this is this is

668
00:28:12,550 --> 00:28:17,170
nonsense right so noticing that that's

669
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:20,830
third category if it's attacking your

670
00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:22,330
own credibility okay and again I would

671
00:28:20,830 --> 00:28:23,830
like to ask you and your listeners to

672
00:28:22,330 --> 00:28:26,710
see if you can relate to this and I'm

673
00:28:23,830 --> 00:28:29,680
pretty sure you can the fourth category

674
00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:32,620
is the resistance to the work itself

675
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:36,490
okay so what that would sound like an

676
00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:38,320
internal dialogue would be good and I

677
00:28:36,490 --> 00:28:40,600
feel like doing the work right now I

678
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,940
didn't really feel like it do I have to

679
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:45,430
do it I just want to go out and have fun

680
00:28:42,940 --> 00:28:46,930
I just want to watch TV I just want to

681
00:28:45,430 --> 00:28:48,520
have chocolate I just want to whatever

682
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:50,200
whatever exfilling the bank

683
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,630
I just want to XYZ I don't want to do it

684
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,530
right now so that's the resistance to

685
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:57,550
the work it's

686
00:28:53,530 --> 00:28:59,500
okay and in the last category is similar

687
00:28:57,550 --> 00:29:02,290
to attacking your own credibility but a

688
00:28:59,500 --> 00:29:05,290
little bit more sharp a little bit more

689
00:29:02,290 --> 00:29:08,950
deep deep which is attacking your own

690
00:29:05,290 --> 00:29:09,850
self-worth yeah so it's like what's

691
00:29:08,950 --> 00:29:11,680
wrong with me

692
00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:13,780
no one else seems to be struggling like

693
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:18,400
I am I am I need anyone who found it

694
00:29:13,780 --> 00:29:22,140
hard with me oh my god I was wrong so

695
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:27,100
it's literally attacking your self-worth

696
00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:29,410
right so this is from lots and lots of

697
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:31,300
examples of the data and when I and I've

698
00:29:29,410 --> 00:29:34,000
shared this with many many people since

699
00:29:31,300 --> 00:29:36,490
and every person I've shared it with can

700
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:39,520
relate to most if not all of these

701
00:29:36,490 --> 00:29:41,410
categories right and so the idea to

702
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:44,290
answer your question in a very very long

703
00:29:41,410 --> 00:29:45,940
format is absolutely there are common in

704
00:29:44,290 --> 00:29:48,130
a critic internal voices that come up

705
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:50,710
all the time related to our fear related

706
00:29:48,130 --> 00:29:54,820
to our internal resistance and if you

707
00:29:50,710 --> 00:30:00,310
can relate to any of that no it's a

708
00:29:54,820 --> 00:30:02,110
human thing I love it no you're not the

709
00:30:00,310 --> 00:30:03,910
only one and I love those five

710
00:30:02,110 --> 00:30:06,520
categories that you provided the

711
00:30:03,910 --> 00:30:08,590
overwhelm it's too hard not good enough

712
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:11,080
resistance and so forth they're

713
00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:13,000
definitely all very relatable categories

714
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,130
that you know I'm sure entrepreneurs

715
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,250
across the board experienced in one way

716
00:30:15,130 --> 00:30:19,990
shape or form I think what I thought was

717
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:21,490
most impressive about what you were

718
00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:23,770
stating just now to kind of want to

719
00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:26,110
rewind to you're expressing you know

720
00:30:23,770 --> 00:30:29,860
while you were writing the book how you

721
00:30:26,110 --> 00:30:32,050
just kept moving forward by using the

722
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:34,960
journal by using that document by

723
00:30:32,050 --> 00:30:37,330
creating the momentum with it not even

724
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:40,120
to look back to see if you've written up

725
00:30:37,330 --> 00:30:42,220
before debating on how many times you've

726
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,860
written this little voice down it didn't

727
00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:48,040
matter the point was to get it out to

728
00:30:44,860 --> 00:30:50,170
get it out and keep the momentum flowing

729
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,460
so I just wanted to kind of bring us

730
00:30:50,170 --> 00:30:54,070
back to that because I thought that was

731
00:30:51,460 --> 00:30:55,930
really important and kudos and Congrats

732
00:30:54,070 --> 00:30:59,320
once again on the book I absolutely

733
00:30:55,930 --> 00:31:01,870
loved it and can't wait to get to the

734
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:04,060
boot camp Mary I'd love for you to share

735
00:31:01,870 --> 00:31:06,280
you know once again a little bit about

736
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:06,759
what the boot camp will be like what

737
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,009
your

738
00:31:06,759 --> 00:31:13,269
to share there I'd like for you to also

739
00:31:09,009 --> 00:31:15,729
share your motivation why it is that you

740
00:31:13,269 --> 00:31:18,489
do what you do and why it is you're so

741
00:31:15,729 --> 00:31:20,619
excited to host this upcoming boot camp

742
00:31:18,489 --> 00:31:23,229
a great question thank you for asking so

743
00:31:20,619 --> 00:31:25,059
I have a 2-day boot camp it's a public

744
00:31:23,229 --> 00:31:28,089
speaking boot camp in here in the Boston

745
00:31:25,059 --> 00:31:30,519
area that I'll be holding it's on

746
00:31:28,089 --> 00:31:32,769
December the 9th and 10th is a Saturday

747
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:36,009
and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. so you

748
00:31:32,769 --> 00:31:38,079
get two full days of immersion if you

749
00:31:36,009 --> 00:31:40,749
liked what you heard already on the

750
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:42,699
podcast that is just a fraction of some

751
00:31:40,749 --> 00:31:45,339
of the things that I cover during the

752
00:31:42,699 --> 00:31:47,829
work in the boot camp so day one of the

753
00:31:45,339 --> 00:31:51,639
boot camp we spend a lot of time on the

754
00:31:47,829 --> 00:31:54,009
inner self so your internal dialogue of

755
00:31:51,639 --> 00:31:56,079
what's holding you back and what's

756
00:31:54,009 --> 00:31:58,749
keeping you from owning your full self

757
00:31:56,079 --> 00:32:00,639
expression as a public speaker and so

758
00:31:58,749 --> 00:32:03,059
day one will really spend a lot of time

759
00:32:00,639 --> 00:32:06,009
working on that looking at you and

760
00:32:03,059 --> 00:32:07,539
looking at the processes and guiding you

761
00:32:06,009 --> 00:32:09,719
through the processes and there's a lot

762
00:32:07,539 --> 00:32:12,819
of coaching that I do with you as well

763
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,739
so that we can have you have a

764
00:32:12,819 --> 00:32:18,399
transformational experience around

765
00:32:14,739 --> 00:32:20,529
public speaking and they one is what I

766
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:22,749
was talking earlier before how most

767
00:32:20,529 --> 00:32:25,959
public speaking training are missing

768
00:32:22,749 --> 00:32:28,089
nobody talks about the how do you

769
00:32:25,959 --> 00:32:30,489
address the internal dialogue that comes

770
00:32:28,089 --> 00:32:32,619
up that disempowers you during public

771
00:32:30,489 --> 00:32:35,259
speaking or even in preparations for a

772
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:37,839
presentation right so that we address in

773
00:32:35,259 --> 00:32:39,969
detail on day one day two of the

774
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:42,519
bootcamp is more to do with the

775
00:32:39,969 --> 00:32:44,499
mechanics however it's more than just

776
00:32:42,519 --> 00:32:47,079
the regular mechanics you hear about we

777
00:32:44,499 --> 00:32:50,259
dive into engaging storytelling how do

778
00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:53,169
you get your point across in the form of

779
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:55,359
a story so that you get the point across

780
00:32:53,169 --> 00:32:59,440
without boring people keep them engaged

781
00:32:55,359 --> 00:33:01,809
and they feel entertained so the idea is

782
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,029
having edutainment which is a

783
00:33:01,809 --> 00:33:06,459
combination of education and

784
00:33:04,029 --> 00:33:08,769
entertainment the more fun your audience

785
00:33:06,459 --> 00:33:10,059
has the more fun you have the better

786
00:33:08,769 --> 00:33:11,949
they're going to remember the content

787
00:33:10,059 --> 00:33:14,079
the more it's going to sink in anyway so

788
00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:16,419
we look into that we also look at the

789
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:20,550
human psychology of how to influence

790
00:33:16,419 --> 00:33:22,890
people and how we can as presenters

791
00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:25,740
use that so that we can influence our

792
00:33:22,890 --> 00:33:28,440
audience to action so we dive a lot into

793
00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:30,240
that on day two and why is it two days

794
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,390
in a row because then it gives you the

795
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:36,230
immersive experience and you are there

796
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:38,640
for my goal my intention is giving you a

797
00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:40,410
transformational experience not just of

798
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,990
public speaking but your own

799
00:33:40,410 --> 00:33:45,390
relationship to yourself and how you

800
00:33:42,990 --> 00:33:47,190
relate to public speaking so that when

801
00:33:45,390 --> 00:33:48,690
you come out of it you'll never think of

802
00:33:47,190 --> 00:33:51,420
public speaking the same way again

803
00:33:48,690 --> 00:33:54,000
okay so the idea is to empower you and

804
00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:55,620
give you the tools necessary to send you

805
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,080
on your way to become an amazing speaker

806
00:33:55,620 --> 00:34:01,440
and to answer your second question why

807
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,670
do I do what I do there's a that's a

808
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,820
great question because I think we should

809
00:34:02,670 --> 00:34:08,400
all start with the why and when I look

810
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:11,010
at my Y as to why I'm doing business

811
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,919
this is actually just one step of the

812
00:34:11,010 --> 00:34:15,840
larger vision that I have public

813
00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:17,970
speaking is definitely a huge component

814
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:20,070
of that and that's where my own

815
00:34:17,970 --> 00:34:21,870
credibility lies in terms of having

816
00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:23,970
conquered my own fear of public speaking

817
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:25,590
and now putting it out into the world in

818
00:34:23,970 --> 00:34:29,130
a bigger way than I have been in

819
00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:31,679
previous years of my life such as

820
00:34:29,130 --> 00:34:33,630
putting that book out such as these boot

821
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:35,880
camps such as doing many more podcast

822
00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:38,040
interviews and getting the word out

823
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,929
about you inner critic and how we all

824
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,110
have the common fears and all have that

825
00:34:39,929 --> 00:34:45,149
internal negative dialog to separate

826
00:34:43,110 --> 00:34:47,550
ourselves from it because one one big

827
00:34:45,149 --> 00:34:49,140
part of the solution is to notice it and

828
00:34:47,550 --> 00:34:52,080
then to distinguish it so that there's

829
00:34:49,140 --> 00:34:54,960
space between you and that negative

830
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:57,330
internal dialogue and within that space

831
00:34:54,960 --> 00:35:01,620
then you can choose right I feel like

832
00:34:57,330 --> 00:35:04,560
this is a fundamental skill that is not

833
00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:07,260
taught in schools it's a fundamental

834
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:09,450
skill that's not taught in many families

835
00:35:07,260 --> 00:35:12,030
I certainly did not learn it from my

836
00:35:09,450 --> 00:35:13,860
parents and it was a skill that I had to

837
00:35:12,030 --> 00:35:15,830
learn it because I was dealing with

838
00:35:13,860 --> 00:35:19,560
these difficulties in everyday life

839
00:35:15,830 --> 00:35:20,970
which I needed to have tools to be able

840
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,890
to deal with it and move forward and

841
00:35:20,970 --> 00:35:25,320
contribute to the world what I need what

842
00:35:22,890 --> 00:35:27,780
I'm here to contribute and I feel like

843
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:30,720
it's a right for everyone to know how to

844
00:35:27,780 --> 00:35:32,910
do this for themselves oh and I feel

845
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:33,500
very strongly that I was put on this

846
00:35:32,910 --> 00:35:36,920
planet

847
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:39,440
to help contribute in that way to teach

848
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:41,660
and to educate people on how to empower

849
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,760
themselves so this public speaking

850
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:46,010
component is a huge part of that going

851
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,920
forward for example I'm working on my

852
00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:51,410
third book which is just a way of how do

853
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,900
I mean writing and speaking these are

854
00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:56,510
just mediums right mediums for what a

855
00:35:53,900 --> 00:35:58,190
mediums to communicate a message so the

856
00:35:56,510 --> 00:36:00,740
what and what is the message right the

857
00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:02,300
message is and what I'm working on now

858
00:36:00,740 --> 00:36:05,320
in creating and putting out into the

859
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:08,630
world on a larger scale is how to

860
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:10,940
process your own emotions so that you

861
00:36:08,630 --> 00:36:12,410
can process them in an empowering way

862
00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:14,840
and in a healthy way

863
00:36:12,410 --> 00:36:17,090
that brings you out to bring whatever

864
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,820
your gifts are into the world in a

865
00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:22,670
bigger way and I feel like this is my

866
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:24,170
passion it's my calling even though it

867
00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:29,060
sounds really glamorous right all it's

868
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:33,830
my calling it really is in some ways

869
00:36:29,060 --> 00:36:35,450
it's almost a burden right because it's

870
00:36:33,830 --> 00:36:37,070
great when the motivation sounds like

871
00:36:35,450 --> 00:36:38,810
yeah I'm totally gonna bring this out

872
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:40,850
into the world yeah I'm totally gonna do

873
00:36:38,810 --> 00:36:42,620
that but then once the motivation leaves

874
00:36:40,850 --> 00:36:44,390
as it always does because it comes in

875
00:36:42,620 --> 00:36:46,790
ways when you're at the bottom of that

876
00:36:44,390 --> 00:36:49,250
motivation curve now now it appears like

877
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:51,050
now I've got to do this thing right I

878
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:53,840
can't go back to those internal

879
00:36:51,050 --> 00:36:54,860
resistance voices so noticing that and

880
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,980
still bringing it out into the world

881
00:36:54,860 --> 00:37:01,010
because I'm so clear for myself it's an

882
00:36:57,980 --> 00:37:02,180
inner internal intuitive knowing that

883
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:05,030
this is what I'm meant to do right now

884
00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:07,010
and bringing that out into the world is

885
00:37:05,030 --> 00:37:08,600
what keeps me going because you know I

886
00:37:07,010 --> 00:37:12,170
look at my clients I look at the people

887
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:13,910
that I work with that takes what I teach

888
00:37:12,170 --> 00:37:15,910
them takes the processes that I teach

889
00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:20,330
them that I guide them through and

890
00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:21,950
totally owning it and totally embracing

891
00:37:20,330 --> 00:37:23,930
it as their own and then seeing the

892
00:37:21,950 --> 00:37:26,540
results that they produce in their world

893
00:37:23,930 --> 00:37:28,730
in this era life that's what keeps me

894
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:31,190
going because ultimately it's not about

895
00:37:28,730 --> 00:37:32,810
me I'm just a medium through which this

896
00:37:31,190 --> 00:37:34,280
message is coming through and when I can

897
00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:36,380
see the results that my client has

898
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,730
produced for themselves that's what

899
00:37:36,380 --> 00:37:39,710
makes it rewarding for me that's that

900
00:37:37,730 --> 00:37:43,520
that's what keeps me going and motivated

901
00:37:39,710 --> 00:37:46,070
it's really important to be able to see

902
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,680
the changes that you're capable of

903
00:37:46,070 --> 00:37:49,350
created

904
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:52,980
in others in order to keep that momentum

905
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:56,220
going but having the ability to reframe

906
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:58,980
and deal with the personal internal

907
00:37:56,220 --> 00:38:00,780
dialogue and those pieces for yourself

908
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,220
from watching those changes occur for

909
00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:04,740
others I think it's something that

910
00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:07,140
probably really does help you in terms

911
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:09,390
of that momentum and moving forward the

912
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:11,460
ability to witness those change if you

913
00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:14,790
could wave this magic wand and rid

914
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:16,740
everyone of their inner critic what do

915
00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:19,880
you think the impact would be for the

916
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:23,670
public speaking industry as a whole

917
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:26,790
hmm great I feel like there are so many

918
00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:30,150
gifts that that we have like yourself as

919
00:38:26,790 --> 00:38:32,280
well as the listeners and many people

920
00:38:30,150 --> 00:38:33,690
even know what those potential gifts are

921
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,450
that they have to offer to the world and

922
00:38:33,690 --> 00:38:38,700
then to bring that out into the physical

923
00:38:36,450 --> 00:38:40,590
world and manifesting that you know in

924
00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,810
ways that other people can use or in in

925
00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:45,150
ways that that contribute value to the

926
00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:47,910
to the community to the world to people

927
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:50,250
outside of themselves whatever those

928
00:38:47,910 --> 00:38:53,100
gifts are then those are just going to

929
00:38:50,250 --> 00:38:56,130
be manifested I had this someone mentor

930
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:57,240
that used to say the you know I'm gonna

931
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:58,620
paraphrase because I don't remember the

932
00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:00,210
exact phrase but it's something along

933
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:02,160
the lines of you know what is the

934
00:39:00,210 --> 00:39:04,260
richest place in the world you know is

935
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,510
it the the mines in Africa you know

936
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:08,790
dying where the diamonds are no is it

937
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:13,110
where the gold is no the richest place

938
00:39:08,790 --> 00:39:15,380
in the world is cemeteries and and and

939
00:39:13,110 --> 00:39:20,220
the reason he mentioned that is because

940
00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:23,670
he says how many books were not written

941
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:25,890
how many songs were not composed how

942
00:39:23,670 --> 00:39:29,370
many businesses that could provide value

943
00:39:25,890 --> 00:39:31,020
were never created because the people

944
00:39:29,370 --> 00:39:32,190
were in their own way and you know how

945
00:39:31,020 --> 00:39:33,810
to get out of their way and so those

946
00:39:32,190 --> 00:39:36,480
books were not written that song was not

947
00:39:33,810 --> 00:39:38,580
written so all of the resources all of

948
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,170
the things that we could that we could

949
00:39:38,580 --> 00:39:43,500
as individuals bring out into the world

950
00:39:40,170 --> 00:39:45,330
did not get put out simply because we we

951
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:47,250
either didn't know how to get our own

952
00:39:45,330 --> 00:39:49,260
ways or that inner critic was so

953
00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:51,300
prominent we didn't have processes to

954
00:39:49,260 --> 00:39:52,380
get around it and so it wasn't your

955
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:55,890
gifts weren't shared with the world

956
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:57,510
right and so with that magic wand if

957
00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:59,790
everybody could just get rid of the

958
00:39:57,510 --> 00:40:01,890
inner critic and and or at least

959
00:39:59,790 --> 00:40:04,260
how to get around that said it doesn't

960
00:40:01,890 --> 00:40:07,320
stop them anymore the world would look

961
00:40:04,260 --> 00:40:10,350
like a very very different place I was

962
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:12,360
reading recently and that I forget the

963
00:40:10,350 --> 00:40:15,510
exact percentage but it was a very very

964
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:17,820
high percentage of how many people who

965
00:40:15,510 --> 00:40:19,860
are employees in the corporate world are

966
00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:21,540
dissatisfied and disengaged with their

967
00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:22,830
own jobs they're there for the Paycheck

968
00:40:21,540 --> 00:40:24,660
they're there just for that you know to

969
00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:27,300
make a living and they're not living

970
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:29,520
their dreams whether the dream is a

971
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:31,380
business or not right the inner critic

972
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:36,240
will get in the way of you manifesting

973
00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:37,830
that so I think that by having by by not

974
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:41,370
allowing the inner critic to get in the

975
00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:43,860
way will then give you the space to be

976
00:40:41,370 --> 00:40:45,870
able to pursue those things that you

977
00:40:43,860 --> 00:40:47,640
feel are important in the world and you

978
00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:49,170
feel that that make you happy

979
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:54,650
you know the things that bring you joy

980
00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:58,380
that bring you bliss and if you can now

981
00:40:54,650 --> 00:41:00,600
transmogrify that or or project that out

982
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:02,010
into the future if everybody was to be

983
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,710
able to do that what a different world

984
00:41:02,010 --> 00:41:07,260
it would be I thought it was just to

985
00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:09,770
bring it back as you were paraphrasing

986
00:41:07,260 --> 00:41:14,040
the richest place in the world and and

987
00:41:09,770 --> 00:41:16,380
how much value has been missed I think

988
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:18,860
it's it's definitely something that

989
00:41:16,380 --> 00:41:21,750
everyone be it's someone who is

990
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:24,780
interested in an entrepreneurial journey

991
00:41:21,750 --> 00:41:26,610
for those of you who were just listening

992
00:41:24,780 --> 00:41:28,410
because you're just interested in the

993
00:41:26,610 --> 00:41:30,300
show you're not interested in an

994
00:41:28,410 --> 00:41:31,710
entrepreneurial journey but you're

995
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:34,410
thinking about moving forward with

996
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:36,930
something else in life the inner critic

997
00:41:34,410 --> 00:41:38,700
is something that comes up for all of us

998
00:41:36,930 --> 00:41:41,070
no matter what kind of a journey were on

999
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:43,950
the it entrepreneurial or not I can only

1000
00:41:41,070 --> 00:41:46,620
imagine what it would be like if so Mary

1001
00:41:43,950 --> 00:41:48,840
you've been absolutely wonderful I love

1002
00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:51,240
having you on the show I love chatting

1003
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,640
with you please share the best way for

1004
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:55,860
our listeners to find you thank you so

1005
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,420
much I enjoy being on the show it's such

1006
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:59,010
a pleasure to the phone sometimes I

1007
00:41:57,420 --> 00:42:00,840
forget there might even be listeners

1008
00:41:59,010 --> 00:42:03,060
because it's like it's a conversation

1009
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:05,010
between you and I which is a testament

1010
00:42:03,060 --> 00:42:07,380
to what a good host you are so I want to

1011
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:08,400
knowledge you as well thank you thank

1012
00:42:07,380 --> 00:42:12,500
you thank you

1013
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,500
so my website is

1014
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:20,370
I'm calm magnetic podium is one word and

1015
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:22,950
one of the best ways to get in touch

1016
00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:25,800
with me I would suggest is when you go

1017
00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:28,050
to my website magnetic podium calm in

1018
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:31,020
the upper right hand corner the menu if

1019
00:42:28,050 --> 00:42:32,580
you hover over contact there's a contact

1020
00:42:31,020 --> 00:42:34,950
form which you could fill out in text or

1021
00:42:32,580 --> 00:42:37,680
you can click on schedule a call with

1022
00:42:34,950 --> 00:42:39,330
Mary and then you can schedule a

1023
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,520
complimentary short call fifteen to

1024
00:42:39,330 --> 00:42:43,260
thirty minute call to see if there is a

1025
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,850
way that I can help you I would love to

1026
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:46,740
learn about you know what your

1027
00:42:44,850 --> 00:42:49,320
challenges are what your goals are

1028
00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:53,130
whether it's around public speaking or

1029
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:54,330
just getting more clarity in general you

1030
00:42:53,130 --> 00:42:56,160
know some of the things we spoke about

1031
00:42:54,330 --> 00:42:57,750
on the podcast if it resonates with you

1032
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:00,180
I would love to see if there's any way

1033
00:42:57,750 --> 00:43:03,570
that I can help you we will be sure to

1034
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:06,510
link to magnetic podium comm and we will

1035
00:43:03,570 --> 00:43:10,170
be sure to link to the specific page to

1036
00:43:06,510 --> 00:43:11,880
sign up for the book so that if you in

1037
00:43:10,170 --> 00:43:14,430
fact didn't get a chance to check that

1038
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,770
link out during the last episode we will

1039
00:43:14,430 --> 00:43:19,560
be sure that that link is there present

1040
00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:23,280
yourself in public speaking and also a

1041
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:25,320
link to contact you know a link to the

1042
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,510
direct contact page to contact you so

1043
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:29,310
get in touch if you're interested in the

1044
00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:32,250
boot camp that is coming up December

1045
00:43:29,310 --> 00:43:35,760
ninth and tenth Saturday and Sunday I

1046
00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:38,220
will be there with Mary for this boot

1047
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,740
camp so we look forward to seeing all of

1048
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:42,780
you there Mary thank you again and I

1049
00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:44,310
look forward to hanging up soon thanks

1050
00:43:42,780 --> 00:43:45,960
Laurie I'm so excited to see you in

1051
00:43:44,310 --> 00:43:48,000
December as well thanks for having me

1052
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,740
Mary thank you once again for joining us

1053
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,990
this week I am super excited about

1054
00:43:49,740 --> 00:43:53,640
joining you for your two-day present

1055
00:43:51,990 --> 00:43:55,740
yourself in public speaking boot camp

1056
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,300
this weekend techie community thank you

1057
00:43:55,740 --> 00:43:59,820
guys for hanging out with us for this

1058
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:02,070
episode and be sure to join Mary Ann I

1059
00:43:59,820 --> 00:44:04,530
live in Bluebird Mass for her to Day

1060
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:04,980
present yourself in public speaking boot

1061
00:44:04,530 --> 00:44:07,200
camp

1062
00:44:04,980 --> 00:44:08,700
December 9th and 10th I've included a

1063
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:11,220
link in the show notes page for easy

1064
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:14,370
access you can reach out to Mary via her

1065
00:44:11,220 --> 00:44:15,960
website at magnetic podium comm you can

1066
00:44:14,370 --> 00:44:17,570
also register and reach out to Mary

1067
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:21,270
through our show notes page at

1068
00:44:17,570 --> 00:44:23,760
technology - quality comm forward slash

1069
00:44:21,270 --> 00:44:25,570
your talents thank you once again for

1070
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:28,750
joining us for this episode number

1071
00:44:25,570 --> 00:44:30,820
74 and until our next episode when we

1072
00:44:28,750 --> 00:44:35,400
continue to hear the journey find the

1073
00:44:30,820 --> 00:44:35,400
pain and create solutions enjoy the beat

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00:44:37,080 --> 00:45:03,890
[Music]

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00:45:01,990 --> 00:45:05,950
[Applause]

1076
00:45:03,890 --> 00:45:05,950
you

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