How do you get over yourself and your fears?
Listen in and learn how to silence your inner critic, the unspoken hurdle professional
public speakers don’t speak of publicly!
Mary Cheyne, the 2009 World Championship of Public Speaking 1st Runner-up, of 25,000 contestants from over 14 countries, is helping you to face your fears, silence your inner critic and live your dreams. Today Mary is a public speaking coach and author of the Amazon best-selling book “Present Yourself In Public Speaking”. Mary’s professional career began as a computer programmer. When office meetings made her nervous and her inner critic took over, Mary decided to face her fears and make the pivot of a lifetime. Taking each step at her own pace, Mary discovered the importance of self-reflection, a new passion, and life plan. Join the Technology = Equality Community for episode #71 as Mary shares her entrepreneurial journey from China to Australia to the United States and beyond.
Silence your inner critic with Mary
Cheyne, Episode #71 of the Technology
= Equality Podcast.
“How does it manifest in myself when the fear comes up?” ~Mary Cheyne
Download this episode (right-click and save)
Strategy: Learn how to bring yourself into the here and now to develop a greater understanding of you. Be honest with yourself to understand which internal changes are required for you to reach your desired level of success. To gain clarity on how to begin making a major personal change, start by answering the following questions; How is it that fear manifests in your life? How is it that you allow fear to hold you back from your goals? Create a goal which personally motivates you. As you learn more about yourself and take small steps one by one, you’ll gain confidence and begin seeing personal progress. Apply the knowledge you gain as you continue to grow. Research the market you would like to serve to recognize which needs are not being served or solved.
Wisdom: You don’t have very long to grab the attention of an audience, make your introduction memorable. Challenge your audience with a question which addresses the purpose of your presentation.
Wish: Let’s help Mary silence as many “Inner Critics” across the globe as possible! 
Tools: Mary’s Best Selling Book
Reach Out Via:
Click Here to book a 20-minute Discovery call with Mary to see how she might be able to help you.
Full Transcription & TimeStamps:
1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,909 you hear it all the time you're like 2 00:00:01,140 --> 00:00:05,009 feel your fear what does that mean for 3 00:00:02,909 --> 00:00:07,770 people how does it manifest in myself 4 00:00:05,009 --> 00:00:10,019 when the fear comes up broadcasting from 5 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:12,630 Boston Massachusetts you're listening to 6 00:00:10,019 --> 00:00:17,660 the technology equals a quality podcast 7 00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:19,680 [Music] 8 00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:22,020 welcome back to you the technology 9 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:25,050 because a quality podcast I'm your host 10 00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:27,180 Lori Brooks and this it's episode 71 I 11 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:29,340 have the absolute pleasure of welcoming 12 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:32,070 Mary Sheen to the show today 13 00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:34,290 she is an award-winning communicator and 14 00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:36,210 the founder of magnetic podium an 15 00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:38,160 organization that helps people find 16 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:40,739 their unique voice and communicate with 17 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:43,649 impact and she's based right here in 18 00:00:40,739 --> 00:00:45,510 Boston Mass Mary began her career in 19 00:00:43,649 --> 00:00:46,920 software development and later 20 00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:48,780 discovered she had a passion for 21 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,789 training and motivational speaking 22 00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:53,399 during her 15 plus years of experience 23 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:55,350 training and speaking to over 15,000 24 00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:57,719 people from more than 25 cities in 25 00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:59,730 multiple countries mary has learned one 26 00:00:57,719 --> 00:01:01,649 important thing to communicate and 27 00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:04,470 persuade effectively the first person 28 00:01:01,649 --> 00:01:07,470 you need to convince is yourself guided 29 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:09,990 by this principle mary has devised tools 30 00:01:07,470 --> 00:01:14,130 and techniques to help you communicate 31 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:16,320 and influence with impact Mary welcome 32 00:01:14,130 --> 00:01:18,509 and thank you so much for joining us 33 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,320 today I'm very happy to be here thank 34 00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:22,920 you for inviting me 35 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:25,680 certainly so Mary before we jump into 36 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:27,330 the actual entrepreneurial journey we 37 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,159 kind of want to rewind the clock a 38 00:01:27,330 --> 00:01:32,310 little bit and have you tell us the 39 00:01:29,159 --> 00:01:34,770 story about where your mindset was and 40 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:37,590 what you thought life would be like long 41 00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:40,049 before you became an entrepreneur maybe 42 00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:41,759 go back to your teenage years and and 43 00:01:40,049 --> 00:01:45,240 tell us the story of what you thought 44 00:01:41,759 --> 00:01:47,700 life would be like Wow going all the way 45 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,630 back in those years mm-hmm that's a 46 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:53,100 great question 47 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:56,399 well I can tell you that what I'm doing 48 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:59,600 now wouldn't definitely not be in my 49 00:01:56,399 --> 00:02:02,840 mind view back then I can start you off 50 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:05,189 back in college for example I had 51 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:08,310 studied computing science that was my 52 00:02:05,189 --> 00:02:10,979 undergrad and started working in the IT 53 00:02:08,310 --> 00:02:11,390 field as a computer programmer a cool 54 00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:15,910 thing 55 00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:18,680 and was very very self-conscious as a 56 00:02:15,910 --> 00:02:21,110 person speaking in front of a group and 57 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:23,390 that's one of the reasons that I ended 58 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:25,610 up working in this field and trying to 59 00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:27,710 get better at what I'm doing which is 60 00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:30,290 speaking in front of a group because I 61 00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:32,990 did not start out that way and it's 62 00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:35,210 difficult to go back all the way back to 63 00:02:32,990 --> 00:02:39,380 what did you say teenage years because 64 00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:42,800 it's I think like many of us back when 65 00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:44,600 we're in teenage years we may not have 66 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:47,830 such a long view of life as to what we 67 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:52,220 want to do but all I knew was that I 68 00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:54,860 enjoyed inspiring people but obviously I 69 00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:58,220 didn't know how to do that I just knew 70 00:02:54,860 --> 00:03:00,380 that I myself enjoyed being inspired by 71 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:03,860 people who have achieved things in life 72 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:06,980 especially the stories that I hear where 73 00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:09,520 people came from almost nothing and then 74 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:12,200 made something of themselves and 75 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,780 inspiring others to do the same so I 76 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:17,840 knew that that going into college that 77 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:20,209 that was my mindset but what I found 78 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,640 myself doing was what I thought I 79 00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:27,230 enjoyed which is more the technical 80 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:31,760 aspect of computer programming and being 81 00:03:27,230 --> 00:03:34,430 mathematically minded and being heavily 82 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:36,769 influenced by my parents it's probably 83 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:39,380 not obvious by my accent because I'm 84 00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:43,430 from Australia but my background is that 85 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:45,730 I am Chinese and it's not obvious when I 86 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:48,820 speak but I am Chinese and I do have 87 00:03:45,730 --> 00:03:52,280 parents who are from Chinese background 88 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:55,430 so for your listeners who are from a 89 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:57,350 non-english speaking background from 90 00:03:55,430 --> 00:04:02,330 parents who are immigrants you probably 91 00:03:57,350 --> 00:04:05,600 know that the tradition of how I was 92 00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:07,640 raised was study hard get a good job and 93 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,579 and you'll be right that'll be the end 94 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:13,100 of the story continued doing that and so 95 00:04:10,579 --> 00:04:15,140 that's what I did I was a obedient child 96 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:17,750 and I listened to my parents I knew I 97 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:21,140 needed a good education to begin with so 98 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:23,510 the entrepreneurial path and writing a 99 00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:24,090 book all of that was definitely not on 100 00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:26,690 my mind 101 00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:32,699 at certain growing up in that background 102 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:35,130 it was more of a discovery process of 103 00:04:32,699 --> 00:04:38,699 how I ended up where I am and just 104 00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:40,650 following what I loved and at each point 105 00:04:38,699 --> 00:04:42,570 in my life when something didn't work 106 00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:45,000 anymore or I'm not so much enjoying this 107 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:47,880 anymore it's not really taking me where 108 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:51,900 I want to go or where I see myself going 109 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:55,139 and then having the conscious mind set 110 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:59,100 to make a shift and then create the 111 00:04:55,139 --> 00:05:01,250 actions in my life to move that shift 112 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:05,370 into reality does that make sense 113 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:08,310 totally no it totally does I love how 114 00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:11,729 you started off in an area that was 115 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:13,169 completely unrelated to public speaking 116 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:15,510 and and that's kind of why I like 117 00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:17,940 bringing out that backstory and that's 118 00:05:15,510 --> 00:05:20,400 why that first question of the show is 119 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:22,380 what it is because I love hearing the 120 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,360 different where someone thought they 121 00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:26,340 were going to be and what they thought 122 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:29,610 their career would look like to where 123 00:05:26,340 --> 00:05:32,400 they are today and you may follow that 124 00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:35,280 degree or that career path for a decade 125 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:37,740 or two and then completely change your 126 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:40,289 idea altogether and I loved how you made 127 00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:42,389 you know a complete pivot from computer 128 00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:44,250 programming to public speaking and 129 00:05:42,389 --> 00:05:46,470 becoming an entrepreneur and and 130 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:49,110 becoming an author I'd love to know 131 00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:52,139 while you were dealing with your own 132 00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:55,139 nerves and your own hesitation what was 133 00:05:52,139 --> 00:05:56,940 it that drove you to begin branding 134 00:05:55,139 --> 00:05:59,280 yourself what were those first steps 135 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:01,620 that you took that kind of launched you 136 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:05,160 in the direction of okay maybe I should 137 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:07,229 remove myself from where I am today how 138 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,889 did you get to that mindset and thought 139 00:06:07,229 --> 00:06:13,050 process of making those first steps 140 00:06:09,889 --> 00:06:15,300 mMmmm great question I think that one of 141 00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:19,710 the things I want to highlight for your 142 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:21,870 listeners is for me it wasn't a big bang 143 00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:24,000 shift it wasn't like oh I'm doing 144 00:06:21,870 --> 00:06:26,639 computing science and programming one 145 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,710 day and the next day or by tomorrow I'm 146 00:06:26,639 --> 00:06:31,380 going to be a professional speaker it 147 00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:34,710 didn't work out it didn't work like that 148 00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:36,450 at all for me it was baby steps and in 149 00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:37,529 fact when I started learning public 150 00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:40,169 speaking and learning 151 00:06:37,529 --> 00:06:42,449 to be a good speaker I didn't even have 152 00:06:40,169 --> 00:06:43,619 in my mind that I was one day going to 153 00:06:42,449 --> 00:06:46,409 be a professional speaker professional 154 00:06:43,619 --> 00:06:48,899 drain and author that wasn't even on my 155 00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:52,019 mind I just took steps towards my own 156 00:06:48,899 --> 00:06:55,319 growth and while I was in my full-time 157 00:06:52,019 --> 00:06:57,719 job so I started joining an organization 158 00:06:55,319 --> 00:06:59,219 called Toastmasters International which 159 00:06:57,719 --> 00:07:01,739 you may have heard of it's a nonprofit 160 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:03,689 organization where you go and learn to 161 00:07:01,739 --> 00:07:06,539 speak and to be honest with you Laurie 162 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:09,599 my initial goal was I want to be able to 163 00:07:06,539 --> 00:07:12,059 speak without in public in front of a 164 00:07:09,599 --> 00:07:14,699 group of people without feeling 165 00:07:12,059 --> 00:07:17,129 self-conscious that was my only goal 166 00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:18,929 right and to be I mean I was given 167 00:07:17,129 --> 00:07:22,709 example I was one of those people that 168 00:07:18,929 --> 00:07:25,889 if I had a say I work meeting in the 169 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:28,949 afternoon and I knew there was a chance 170 00:07:25,889 --> 00:07:31,979 I'd be called upon in that meeting my 171 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:35,009 whole morning was ruined because I would 172 00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:37,529 be stressed out about what if I was 173 00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:40,409 called to speak and stumbled with my 174 00:07:37,529 --> 00:07:42,929 words and more importantly embarrass 175 00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:45,089 myself in front of my co-workers but I 176 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:47,729 heard that that's the way I started from 177 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:50,449 so I was certainly not someone who was 178 00:07:47,729 --> 00:07:54,389 born with the skill or was you know very 179 00:07:50,449 --> 00:07:56,129 articulate naturally articulate as you 180 00:07:54,389 --> 00:07:57,989 know the first seven years of my life I 181 00:07:56,129 --> 00:07:59,459 actually spoke Chinese because I was 182 00:07:57,989 --> 00:08:02,219 born in Hong Kong and in my family 183 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:03,539 emigrated to Australia where I shifted 184 00:08:02,219 --> 00:08:06,179 languages and learn the whole new 185 00:08:03,539 --> 00:08:09,389 language so I was not naturally 186 00:08:06,179 --> 00:08:11,909 articulate to begin with and so that was 187 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:14,189 always conscious in my mind and and 188 00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:15,959 being self-conscious about the way I 189 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:18,059 would articulate the way I would sound 190 00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:20,069 and whatever they asked me a question 191 00:08:18,059 --> 00:08:23,249 that I don't know and what if when I 192 00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:25,439 answered it I sound stupid that's what I 193 00:08:23,249 --> 00:08:27,449 mean by self-consciousness and we can 194 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:29,429 expand a lot more about that but that's 195 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:32,039 what I began so it wasn't like something 196 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:34,979 that I planned out from the beginning 197 00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:38,339 and then as I took steps to improve as a 198 00:08:34,979 --> 00:08:43,740 speaker and found mentors in my life I'm 199 00:08:38,339 --> 00:08:46,050 one of those people who I am very very 200 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:50,129 encouraging of myself to learn from 201 00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:51,450 others I have no qualms about no I have 202 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:54,990 to do this all nice 203 00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:56,910 if someone has an ability that they've 204 00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:58,920 worked on and they're willing to teach 205 00:08:56,910 --> 00:09:00,990 me or I'm willing to learn from them 206 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,250 then I'm gonna take that shortcut and 207 00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:04,800 say you know what I'm gonna take that 208 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:08,160 leap and learn with this person so that 209 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:10,080 I can shortcut my own path why not take 210 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,540 that exponential growth when it's there 211 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:15,240 as opposed to trying to do everything 212 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:17,250 myself and so I learned from the best in 213 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:20,880 the world I learned from these mentors 214 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:22,589 who were the past winners of a contest 215 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,810 called the world's championship of 216 00:09:22,589 --> 00:09:26,190 public speaking most people when I tell 217 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:28,980 them this thing they've never even heard 218 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:30,660 of this contest most people haven't but 219 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:33,779 the people in the public speaking world 220 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:37,440 have heard of it and it's a an annual 221 00:09:33,779 --> 00:09:39,480 contest where between 25,000 and 35,000 222 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,670 contestants from around the world from 223 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,649 14 plus countries entered this contest 224 00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:47,190 so these these people who had learned 225 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:49,860 from had won these contests so and they 226 00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:53,700 would say to me Mary it's not about 227 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:56,040 getting up and speaking and then making 228 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:58,260 a fool of yourself it's not about that 229 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,820 that may happen and probably does happen 230 00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:02,220 right when you start out it certainly 231 00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:05,310 happened with me a lot they said it's 232 00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:06,959 about having that happen and then having 233 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:09,450 the courage to come back the next day 234 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:12,209 that's what it was about so I listened 235 00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:16,800 to these mentors and like yourself I'm a 236 00:10:12,209 --> 00:10:18,420 very good student right I'm very proud 237 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,220 of the fact that I'm very good student 238 00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:22,080 what I learned I apply in my life 239 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,820 because I understand it if I'm not 240 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,650 applying it in my life we were just 241 00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:27,630 talking about this just before we hopped 242 00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:29,540 on the interview if I'm not applying it 243 00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:31,860 in my life then it just becomes 244 00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:34,650 theoretical knowledge and I'm not using 245 00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:36,150 it to benefit myself in any way right so 246 00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:38,640 I would apply what they told me and I 247 00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:41,790 would speak and I would speaking slowly 248 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:44,910 by slowly my confidence started to 249 00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:47,220 increase and my whole goal was you know 250 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:48,750 what I just want to be on it on in front 251 00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,339 of a group of people and be able to 252 00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:51,180 speak and just be comfortable in my own 253 00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:54,300 skin 254 00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:56,790 that was my goal right and so over the 255 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:59,579 years as that started to happen and I 256 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:02,550 was able to articulate myself more as 257 00:10:59,579 --> 00:11:06,060 myself you know more conversational 258 00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:07,980 and then working on my craft and then 259 00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:10,640 going through that journey of becoming a 260 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:15,750 better speaker I started to notice that 261 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:21,420 the there is a parallel path to becoming 262 00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:24,540 a better speaker and that was becoming a 263 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:26,040 better of myself if that makes sense so 264 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:28,140 what I mean by that which is actually 265 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:32,579 what the topic of my book ended up being 266 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:36,720 about is there's noticing that I am the 267 00:11:32,579 --> 00:11:39,540 biggest obstacle in my own way and and 268 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:42,750 now having trained thousands of students 269 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:45,149 and coached hundreds of people I started 270 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:49,350 noticing that there was a pattern with 271 00:11:45,149 --> 00:11:52,170 us as human beings and that is that we 272 00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:54,420 let fear get in our way and when that 273 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:56,940 happened and we don't take the actions 274 00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:58,829 to do what we want because of fear then 275 00:11:56,940 --> 00:12:01,890 we need to look at that more closely we 276 00:11:58,829 --> 00:12:04,350 need to address that more closely and so 277 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:08,459 that's that's what my journey has been 278 00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:11,670 like and then as I got more confident as 279 00:12:08,459 --> 00:12:14,130 a speaker I realized that what I was 280 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:15,630 finding out about this process of 281 00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:18,899 becoming a better speaker becoming 282 00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:21,839 getting over yourself and and learning 283 00:12:18,899 --> 00:12:25,980 how to get over your own fears that 284 00:12:21,839 --> 00:12:28,500 wasn't taught as something as common 285 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:32,160 with in public speaking education in 286 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:34,470 itself right I mean for exact what I 287 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,880 mean by that is for example I mentioned 288 00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:37,829 the Toastmasters right that's a great 289 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:40,910 place for you to practice in front of 290 00:12:37,829 --> 00:12:43,820 this ëismà to practice in front of but 291 00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:47,600 even in the education that I would 292 00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:50,820 invest in to learn about public speaking 293 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:52,970 it was focused more on the mechanics of 294 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:55,589 the craft so you know how do you stand 295 00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:57,660 how do you use your voice vocal variety 296 00:12:55,589 --> 00:13:01,290 how do you tell engaging stories all 297 00:12:57,660 --> 00:13:03,269 that is important but nobody was talking 298 00:13:01,290 --> 00:13:06,149 about the biggest obstacle that was 299 00:13:03,269 --> 00:13:07,529 getting in everyone's way when they're 300 00:13:06,149 --> 00:13:09,600 nervous or when they're outside their 301 00:13:07,529 --> 00:13:12,209 comfort zone which is how do you deal 302 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:14,120 with it with your own inner critic how 303 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:17,040 do you deal with your own 304 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:19,529 self-consciousness and and the self-talk 305 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,180 that goes on that might stop you from 306 00:13:19,529 --> 00:13:23,279 making progress not just in public 307 00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:25,620 speaking in you know but in grow in your 308 00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:27,810 own growth in itself and in life right 309 00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:31,440 nobody was addressing that so I felt it 310 00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:33,600 more important to address that component 311 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,790 and how what are the processes that I 312 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,070 use in my own life to get over my own 313 00:13:35,790 --> 00:13:39,990 self-consciousness around public 314 00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:42,750 speaking and in general the fears in 315 00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:45,410 general and feeling the need to share 316 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:47,639 that message and feeling the need to 317 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:51,240 spread that message so that more people 318 00:13:47,639 --> 00:13:55,529 can use and learn and use these tools 319 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:58,560 that I invented for myself so that I 320 00:13:55,529 --> 00:14:00,810 could continually step outside of my own 321 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:04,110 comfort zone and not let the fears stop 322 00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:06,930 me so it was more to a very very 323 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:09,000 long-winded answer to your question it 324 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:11,730 was more from the trajectory of how I 325 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:13,170 became you know how I came from computer 326 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:16,589 programming background to what I do now 327 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:18,959 is it's just feeling the need and the 328 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:20,850 passion around sharing what I've learned 329 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:22,709 with others so that it benefits them in 330 00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:25,949 their life that's where the drive comes 331 00:14:22,709 --> 00:14:27,870 from and then so that taking myself on 332 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:29,490 that path of being an entrepreneur and 333 00:14:27,870 --> 00:14:31,560 being an author and and spreading that 334 00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:33,269 message has become my new mission 335 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,220 because I know that that's a way of 336 00:14:33,269 --> 00:14:38,279 reaching more people I love how you 337 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:41,399 explain those stats because of a need 338 00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:43,620 that you had you were extremely nervous 339 00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:45,390 when you were going to meetings and the 340 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:47,699 only thing that you were searching for 341 00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:50,070 was to solve your own need so that you 342 00:14:47,699 --> 00:14:52,620 could be comfortable when speaking in 343 00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:54,779 public that's what drove you to take 344 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:57,839 that next step to join Toastmasters 345 00:14:54,779 --> 00:14:59,819 International to then gain the 346 00:14:57,839 --> 00:15:02,550 confidence in yourself to find the 347 00:14:59,819 --> 00:15:04,110 mentors to work with you to take the 348 00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:06,959 knowledge that you gained from your 349 00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:09,480 mentors apply it and to go even further 350 00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:11,550 to recognize that you know what I've 351 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,740 applied this knowledge I'm moving 352 00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:16,649 forward with my own public speaking but 353 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:19,260 why is nobody addressing an alternate 354 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:21,480 need a niche that you then found through 355 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:23,459 looking at something that you wanted to 356 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:26,040 solve and that turned into the fact that 357 00:15:23,459 --> 00:15:26,570 nobody was really taking care of the 358 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,360 comfort 359 00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:32,030 peace and the recognition of so many 360 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:35,750 struggling with that inner voice and it 361 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:38,420 turned it into a passion for you to help 362 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:40,160 others solve that problem and I think 363 00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:42,200 your explanation of the progression of 364 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:44,630 how that came about was excellent 365 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,640 it's a pivot it's not a straight path 366 00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:49,460 you don't jump onto an entrepreneurial 367 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:52,280 journey at all times with a goal at the 368 00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:54,110 end that you're just shooting for some 369 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:57,110 people do that and that's excellent but 370 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:59,090 there are a number of entrepreneurs that 371 00:15:57,110 --> 00:16:00,800 I have personally spoken with and 372 00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:02,840 interviewed at this point as well as 373 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:05,390 millions across the globe whose journey 374 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:07,850 does not look anything like a straight 375 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:09,620 path it varies it deviates and the 376 00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:11,420 differences come from the different 377 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:13,640 aspects of things that you're attempting 378 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:15,920 to accomplish Mary what do you feel was 379 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,830 one of the most difficult pieces for you 380 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:20,900 as you began taking on the journey as an 381 00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:22,850 entrepreneur once you decided okay you 382 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:25,130 know what this is a need that I really 383 00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:27,410 do need to help others solve I have to 384 00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:29,900 help them recognize how to make their 385 00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:32,780 inner critic shut up what did you find 386 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:34,640 to be the biggest hurdle for you in 387 00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:37,520 making that pivot in your journey I 388 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:40,300 think the biggest hurdle is and and I 389 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:43,610 think people can relate to this is fear 390 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:45,920 okay and also I want to make it clear I 391 00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:48,760 mean you heard my journey and now you 392 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:53,060 know where I am I published this book 393 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:54,380 and I have you know I hold boot camps 394 00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:57,560 where people come and learn this 395 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:59,270 material the book is great in itself but 396 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,910 then being able to guide people through 397 00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:03,920 it live and through in-person through 398 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:06,140 training programs which is what I am 399 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:09,110 that that's now my profession is to 400 00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:11,089 train people in this kind of work in how 401 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:12,860 to get over their own fears not just 402 00:17:11,089 --> 00:17:14,870 around public speaking even though it 403 00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:17,390 looks like that but it's the space that 404 00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:19,430 it opens up once you learn the process 405 00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:21,800 of handling your own fears and managing 406 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:24,740 it and not letting it stop you even 407 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:27,439 though that is what I do I want to be 408 00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:29,450 clear that I'm not exempt from fear I am 409 00:17:27,439 --> 00:17:31,700 not exempt from when I step outside my 410 00:17:29,450 --> 00:17:33,620 own comfort zone continuously that the 411 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:36,620 fears are going to come up again so 412 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:39,620 every time there's change ie going from 413 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:42,440 for example going from an employee to 414 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:44,240 my own path of being an entrepreneur or 415 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,800 even at launching my own book for 416 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,970 example there was fear around that 417 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:50,300 because it's something I've never done 418 00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:53,840 before right so overcoming that and the 419 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:57,110 processes of overcoming the the internal 420 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:58,760 fears of what may happen what what is I 421 00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:00,320 mean fear is like such a big umbrella 422 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,790 right you hear it all the time you're 423 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:04,280 like see your fear here first when we 424 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:05,720 really break it down and say practically 425 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,980 speaking what does that mean what does 426 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,530 that mean for people how does it 427 00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:12,980 manifest in myself when the fear comes 428 00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:14,750 up well a very obvious way of noticing 429 00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:16,850 the fear that comes up is paying 430 00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:19,850 attention to your own internal dialogue 431 00:18:16,850 --> 00:18:21,530 right so fear for example might sound 432 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:25,429 like and in this specific question 433 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:28,130 you're asking going from changing from 434 00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:31,160 one profession to another such as an 435 00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:33,920 entrepreneur is path the fear in your 436 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,750 own head might sound like what if I fail 437 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,760 what if I try this and it doesn't work 438 00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:39,500 what if I publish the book and no one 439 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:42,170 reads there it's gonna everyone's going 440 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:43,660 to know that I'm I suck everyone's going 441 00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:46,040 to know that you know like all of that 442 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:48,590 garbage that goes on what if what if 443 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:50,570 what if and and I talk about this in 444 00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:53,960 detail in my book and in my boot camps 445 00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:56,210 but it basically comes from the same 446 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:58,880 area that we all have in our brains 447 00:18:56,210 --> 00:19:01,640 which is the the part of our brain that 448 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:04,610 tries to protect us from from from harm 449 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:07,309 right and it's not a bad thing I'm not 450 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:09,110 saying that we shouldn't have you or 451 00:19:07,309 --> 00:19:10,790 that oh I wish we didn't have for you 452 00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:12,740 it's there for a purpose and that's what 453 00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:15,050 I mean the the message I'm trying to 454 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:17,240 convey here is the fear is there for 455 00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:21,679 purpose and it's for the purpose of 456 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:24,650 trying to protect us trying to avoid 457 00:19:21,679 --> 00:19:26,870 perceived harm what if I do fail well 458 00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:30,110 like so it's not just physical pain or 459 00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:34,870 physical survival it's also perceived 460 00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:37,940 pain perceived pain of failure of 461 00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:40,429 embarrassment of doing something and 462 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:42,710 it's not going to work out so that is 463 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:44,960 always going to be in our way whenever 464 00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:46,970 we attempt to change anything in our 465 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,860 lives whenever we try to step outside 466 00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:51,530 our comfort zone whether it's speaking 467 00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:53,000 from a group that you're not used to or 468 00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:55,820 thing your career to be an entrepreneur 469 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:58,730 which is not really define the path 470 00:19:55,820 --> 00:20:01,070 right which is why scary I mean think 471 00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:04,550 about this all our lives most of us we 472 00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:07,550 hear the same story which is go to 473 00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:09,370 school get good grades get a good job 474 00:20:07,550 --> 00:20:11,420 right that's pretty much what's been 475 00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:14,390 conditioned in our head so anything 476 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:16,220 outside of that that neroon path is 477 00:20:14,390 --> 00:20:18,620 going to be scary because there are a 478 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:20,540 lot of unknown variables and a lot of 479 00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:22,640 problems that come out and you have to 480 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:26,660 be able to solve those problems right 481 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:30,200 and this the anticipation of the unknown 482 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:33,800 and the and the uncertainty around all 483 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:35,900 of this shift in change in ourselves is 484 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,300 what's going to come up so to answer 485 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:41,450 your question that has been that has 486 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:44,360 been the most challenging part is to be 487 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:47,150 very aware of that as it comes up and 488 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:49,790 then having the tools to know how to 489 00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:52,160 manage that so that the see of my own 490 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:54,170 fear my own internal dialogue that tries 491 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,030 to stop me from growing because it tries 492 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,710 to despair me from pain and then being 493 00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:59,750 aware of that and then moving forward 494 00:20:57,710 --> 00:21:01,700 any way that that has been at the most 495 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:03,860 difficult part I have had the 496 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:05,630 opportunity to read your book present 497 00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:07,880 yourself in public speaking and we will 498 00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:10,130 be sure to put a link to that on the 499 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,810 show notes page because I'd like for the 500 00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:13,760 audience to have the ability in the 501 00:21:11,810 --> 00:21:17,120 access to the book I think it has been 502 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:19,070 very definitive in my journey to branch 503 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:22,370 out into public speaking even though I 504 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:24,230 do the podcast guys I too struggle with 505 00:21:22,370 --> 00:21:26,060 that fear you know marry you and I were 506 00:21:24,230 --> 00:21:28,190 we're touching base on that before we 507 00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:30,440 got on the call recording a podcast with 508 00:21:28,190 --> 00:21:33,080 someone is very different than live 509 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:35,450 webinar or a live presentation in front 510 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,100 of a group and I have found that the 511 00:21:35,450 --> 00:21:39,140 tips the tricks and the tools that are 512 00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:41,180 included have been very instrumental in 513 00:21:39,140 --> 00:21:43,550 in my own journey so I look forward to 514 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:47,750 making sure that that's available to the 515 00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:50,270 listeners so Mary what do you feel was a 516 00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:52,460 lesson that may have surprised you 517 00:21:50,270 --> 00:21:54,320 during this journey what do you feel 518 00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:56,030 like was something that you learned that 519 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:58,160 you didn't even have a clue you were 520 00:21:56,030 --> 00:22:00,380 going to come across during your turn 521 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,630 that's a great question and I'm going to 522 00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:04,970 go back to the same answer because that 523 00:22:02,630 --> 00:22:08,409 it is actually the truth is 524 00:22:04,970 --> 00:22:10,880 that I didn't realize in the infalling 525 00:22:08,409 --> 00:22:13,480 where my heart tells me to go which is 526 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:16,010 what I usually the joy like where where 527 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:18,530 the direction that I tend to gravitate 528 00:22:16,010 --> 00:22:22,520 towards is what brings me joy in my life 529 00:22:18,530 --> 00:22:25,130 right what what and being very honest 530 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:27,230 with myself to say okay the path but I'm 531 00:22:25,130 --> 00:22:29,750 traveling right now is no longer 532 00:22:27,230 --> 00:22:31,700 bringing me the joy that it used to for 533 00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:33,740 various reasons and and mostly probably 534 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:36,919 because I grown in a different direction 535 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:39,320 or what used to bring me joy and 536 00:22:36,919 --> 00:22:41,360 happiness no longer does programming 537 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:44,750 used I used to enjoy it I used to like 538 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:48,169 it but what I started noticing was it 539 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:51,260 wasn't bringing me joy because what 540 00:22:48,169 --> 00:22:53,090 brought me joy was making a difference 541 00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:57,380 with people you know seeing their eyes 542 00:22:53,090 --> 00:22:59,330 light up and just being able to help 543 00:22:57,380 --> 00:23:01,400 people transform themselves the way I've 544 00:22:59,330 --> 00:23:03,590 helped myself transform right and then 545 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:07,010 bringing that message across and then 546 00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:08,510 taking notice of that and then most 547 00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:11,750 importantly doing something about it 548 00:23:08,510 --> 00:23:13,820 right so moving away from what I don't 549 00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:18,559 like anymore to what I what resonates 550 00:23:13,820 --> 00:23:20,750 with my heart and my inner calling so to 551 00:23:18,559 --> 00:23:22,549 speak right sometimes we hear that we 552 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:25,130 kind of kind of know that what we're 553 00:23:22,549 --> 00:23:27,350 doing doesn't work for us anymore but 554 00:23:25,130 --> 00:23:29,360 then it takes a little while for us to 555 00:23:27,350 --> 00:23:31,370 sort of admit that to ourselves and then 556 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:33,980 more importantly taking the concrete 557 00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:35,630 steps to to make a change in our lives 558 00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:37,549 right and as we mentioned earlier as you 559 00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:39,549 were mentioning about baby steps right 560 00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:45,049 it's all about the baby steps baby steps 561 00:23:39,549 --> 00:23:46,580 but what I was surprised and actually in 562 00:23:45,049 --> 00:23:49,250 hindsight I shouldn't be surprised is 563 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:54,080 how stubborn I was internally about 564 00:23:49,250 --> 00:23:55,730 making a change it was it was knowing 565 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,020 that in theory yeah I need to get away 566 00:23:55,730 --> 00:23:59,179 from this yeah this is no longer 567 00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:01,309 bringing me joy and then to the the 568 00:23:59,179 --> 00:24:04,400 point where I actually make changes even 569 00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:06,530 if they are baby step changes to finally 570 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:11,000 admit to myself you know I need to make 571 00:24:06,530 --> 00:24:15,440 these changes so the the length of time 572 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:16,390 that it took for me to finally decide 573 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,770 okay 574 00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:22,450 because it's based on a decision and 575 00:24:19,770 --> 00:24:25,180 when I say decide I I mean it with a 576 00:24:22,450 --> 00:24:28,000 capital D right I've decided this is 577 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:30,640 what I'm doing right until I got to that 578 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:33,010 point where I totally am going to shift 579 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:35,680 and know that I'm 100% certain I'm going 580 00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:41,820 to shift it's no longer a question it's 581 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:41,820 just a matter of stepping into that the 582 00:24:42,450 --> 00:24:49,060 internal kicking and kicking and digging 583 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:51,520 my heels in so to speak before I made 584 00:24:49,060 --> 00:24:54,580 that decision that capital D decision 585 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:56,170 raised probably in hindsight what what 586 00:24:54,580 --> 00:24:59,410 if I had to you know go back and tell 587 00:24:56,170 --> 00:25:01,180 myself to do is just be like girl don't 588 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:03,190 be so stubborn you know just do it you 589 00:25:01,180 --> 00:25:06,640 know you're gonna so you may have to do 590 00:25:03,190 --> 00:25:10,750 it now you know and then just um having 591 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:13,750 that that that internal voice to calm 592 00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:15,790 down much more quickly but I do this 593 00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:18,280 like like every other human being you 594 00:25:15,790 --> 00:25:20,590 know I'm not exempt from it and what do 595 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:23,320 I do in that moment I use the same tools 596 00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:24,640 as I always do I walk my talk get to 597 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,160 that point where I've make that decision 598 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:30,700 and and usually when I get to the point 599 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:34,240 that it becomes more painful to stay 600 00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:36,160 where I am than it is to make the 601 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,780 decision to change right then the pain 602 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:40,000 that is the changes are going to cause 603 00:25:37,780 --> 00:25:42,370 initially right so when that pain of 604 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:45,850 staying is greater than the anticipated 605 00:25:42,370 --> 00:25:48,880 pain of moving of changing that that's 606 00:25:45,850 --> 00:25:51,550 when the change happens I talk about 607 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:53,080 this in my book as well but um if I was 608 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:57,190 to go back I would you know definitely 609 00:25:53,080 --> 00:26:00,040 coach myself to make that time a smaller 610 00:25:57,190 --> 00:26:03,010 window right the longer window that he 611 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:05,380 ended up taking but but I do follow I do 612 00:26:03,010 --> 00:26:07,720 subscribe to unfoldment and just 613 00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:09,670 allowing the self-discovery to take 614 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:12,280 place and and not to be too harsh on 615 00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:14,860 myself around that but certainly that 616 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:17,800 that that's what what surprised me the 617 00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:22,150 most is how internally stubborn I was 618 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:24,880 before I made that change I love that 619 00:26:22,150 --> 00:26:26,500 Mary oh I love your candid this on that 620 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,780 and I think it's you know it's something 621 00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:29,560 that we as entrepreneurs probably don't 622 00:26:28,780 --> 00:26:32,140 talk about 623 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,060 as much as we should I have yet to meet 624 00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:37,090 an entrepreneur who hasn't had to do 625 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:39,940 some sort of self-reflection and wake up 626 00:26:37,090 --> 00:26:42,550 moments on different areas of life and 627 00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:44,500 taking ownership and application of baby 628 00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:45,910 step is very important and that's funny 629 00:26:44,500 --> 00:26:47,740 that that was one of the more surprising 630 00:26:45,910 --> 00:26:49,750 parts I think it is something that 631 00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:52,750 surprises all of us but it's very seldom 632 00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:55,450 discussed that's right what I'd love for 633 00:26:52,750 --> 00:26:57,550 you to do is tell us a little bit more 634 00:26:55,450 --> 00:27:00,550 about your book present yourself in 635 00:26:57,550 --> 00:27:02,890 public speaking and tell us who the book 636 00:27:00,550 --> 00:27:04,930 is really designed for is it designed 637 00:27:02,890 --> 00:27:06,400 for those that are becoming public 638 00:27:04,930 --> 00:27:08,500 speakers or do you feel like there's a 639 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:10,930 wider audience I personally felt like 640 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:13,090 there was a larger application sure so 641 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:15,640 that the title of the book is present 642 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:18,580 yourself in public speaking and the word 643 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:20,230 present is in inverted commas and the 644 00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:23,320 reason for that is it's a play on words 645 00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:25,720 so the word present mean meaning being 646 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:28,690 present in front of a room being here in 647 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:32,110 the now present as in presentations and 648 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:35,440 quiz present as in it's a gift to the 649 00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:38,020 audience right so if you can be present 650 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:40,450 being in here and then now with the 651 00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:43,210 audience while you're in presentation 652 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:45,520 mode then then in itself is a gift to 653 00:27:43,210 --> 00:27:49,750 your audience right so instead of 654 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:51,910 focusing entirely on the content or that 655 00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:54,250 inner dialogue that goes on in your head 656 00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:56,500 to make yourself self-conscious in front 657 00:27:54,250 --> 00:27:58,540 of an audience if that wasn't there then 658 00:27:56,500 --> 00:28:00,010 then what is possible right what 659 00:27:58,540 --> 00:28:01,870 connection can you have with the 660 00:28:00,010 --> 00:28:04,120 audience in that space because they're 661 00:28:01,870 --> 00:28:06,220 also giving you the gift of their time 662 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:08,260 and their attention how do you then make 663 00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:10,390 the most out of that and the subtitle is 664 00:28:08,260 --> 00:28:14,800 tell your inner critic to shut up and 665 00:28:10,390 --> 00:28:18,130 the real you to speak up and I think the 666 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:20,050 subtitle kind of tells it in more detail 667 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:23,230 as to what you can expect in the book 668 00:28:20,050 --> 00:28:26,080 and it really is a book about the 669 00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:28,810 internal processes of how to get over 670 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:31,840 your inner critic and to allow the 671 00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:34,150 authentic you the person that's inside 672 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:36,040 there who has a message who has 673 00:28:34,150 --> 00:28:39,550 something from the heart that they want 674 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:42,190 to share who has a message that they 675 00:28:39,550 --> 00:28:43,180 know is that if it's given to the 676 00:28:42,190 --> 00:28:45,220 audience it's going to make 677 00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:46,960 difference for them that is the person 678 00:28:45,220 --> 00:28:51,100 that I want to be in front of the room 679 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:53,020 speaking versus the inner critic which 680 00:28:51,100 --> 00:28:54,640 in terms of internal dialogue might 681 00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:56,260 sound like when you're in front of the 682 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,060 room it might sound like this what are 683 00:28:56,260 --> 00:29:00,580 people gonna think of me how are people 684 00:28:58,060 --> 00:29:01,330 going to judge me I hope I don't sound 685 00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:03,850 like an idiot 686 00:29:01,330 --> 00:29:05,950 I hope what I'm saying makes sense I 687 00:29:03,850 --> 00:29:08,680 hope I prepared enough so all of that 688 00:29:05,950 --> 00:29:11,290 internal dialogue gets in the way 689 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:13,960 between the speaker and the audience and 690 00:29:11,290 --> 00:29:17,170 so the book is about how do you get rid 691 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:19,210 of all that muck all of that the 692 00:29:17,170 --> 00:29:22,810 internal dialogue that goes on that 693 00:29:19,210 --> 00:29:24,640 becomes an invisible wall between you 694 00:29:22,810 --> 00:29:27,580 and the audience because if you're 695 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:30,040 focusing on the internal dialogue how on 696 00:29:27,580 --> 00:29:32,410 earth can you focus on the audience and 697 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:34,570 and benefiting them right so and that is 698 00:29:32,410 --> 00:29:37,390 a journey it's um it doesn't come 699 00:29:34,570 --> 00:29:39,640 naturally for a lot of people myself 700 00:29:37,390 --> 00:29:42,460 included it did not come naturally to me 701 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:45,010 but the good news is that there are 702 00:29:42,460 --> 00:29:46,990 processes that that I teach in the book 703 00:29:45,010 --> 00:29:49,090 where you can follow as you were saying 704 00:29:46,990 --> 00:29:50,740 you you are like one of my best students 705 00:29:49,090 --> 00:29:55,590 because you actually apply within the 706 00:29:50,740 --> 00:29:57,730 book in your life and to see how you can 707 00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:59,830 not allow that inner critic that 708 00:29:57,730 --> 00:30:03,280 internal negative dialogue to get in the 709 00:29:59,830 --> 00:30:05,610 way of your actions and to answer your 710 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:09,220 question it is actually applicable to 711 00:30:05,610 --> 00:30:10,720 not just public speaking but to anyone 712 00:30:09,220 --> 00:30:12,670 who wants to grow beyond their own 713 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:15,790 comfort zone public speaking is an 714 00:30:12,670 --> 00:30:16,930 obvious front door because most people 715 00:30:15,790 --> 00:30:18,640 when they get in front of the room and 716 00:30:16,930 --> 00:30:20,170 they're outside their comfort zone they 717 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,850 are going to experience that inner 718 00:30:20,170 --> 00:30:23,830 critic they are going to experience that 719 00:30:21,850 --> 00:30:25,780 inner dialogue that gets in the way 720 00:30:23,830 --> 00:30:27,160 between them and connecting with the 721 00:30:25,780 --> 00:30:29,200 audience and so there is an obvious 722 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,990 front door but the tools that you learn 723 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:33,910 and to apply to your life is going to be 724 00:30:31,990 --> 00:30:35,890 beneficial to you in all walks of life 725 00:30:33,910 --> 00:30:37,810 such as what we were just talking about 726 00:30:35,890 --> 00:30:39,400 when you're shifting careers or when 727 00:30:37,810 --> 00:30:41,200 you're pivoting to you know from an 728 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:43,390 employee mindset to an entrepreneurial 729 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:45,430 mindset that inner critic is going to 730 00:30:43,390 --> 00:30:47,260 come up and it's the same in a critic 731 00:30:45,430 --> 00:30:49,390 because you are the common denominator 732 00:30:47,260 --> 00:30:51,160 of all of your experiences whether 733 00:30:49,390 --> 00:30:53,410 you're public speaking or whether you're 734 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,430 in another arena in your life where 735 00:30:53,410 --> 00:30:56,650 you're outside your comfort right 736 00:30:54,430 --> 00:30:59,620 they're the same you know critic that 737 00:30:56,650 --> 00:31:01,210 Rock Witter brain is gonna come up so 738 00:30:59,620 --> 00:31:03,910 the question then becomes okay now I 739 00:31:01,210 --> 00:31:05,380 know they said how what do I do about it 740 00:31:03,910 --> 00:31:08,170 right and that is what the book is about 741 00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:10,060 it tells you it goes through processes 742 00:31:08,170 --> 00:31:11,860 that I've developed that explain in 743 00:31:10,060 --> 00:31:14,560 there with many many many examples from 744 00:31:11,860 --> 00:31:17,410 my coaching clients as well as my 745 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:20,410 training students so you get to see a 746 00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:22,060 variety of real-life examples of what 747 00:31:20,410 --> 00:31:23,560 people go through when they're trying to 748 00:31:22,060 --> 00:31:26,080 break outside their comfort zone in 749 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:28,000 public speaking and even in general so 750 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:30,070 you get to realize my whole goal of 751 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,470 writing the book is for for the person 752 00:31:30,070 --> 00:31:34,960 reading it to come to the conclusion 753 00:31:31,470 --> 00:31:39,340 which is oh I'm normal 754 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:41,710 oh there's nothing wrong with me oh not 755 00:31:39,340 --> 00:31:44,170 the only one oh this one actually I can 756 00:31:41,710 --> 00:31:45,820 do about it right and then be able to do 757 00:31:44,170 --> 00:31:48,130 that I'll give you an example I was 758 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:50,110 speaking to a group of entrepreneurs 759 00:31:48,130 --> 00:31:51,430 recently there were 40 plus people in 760 00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:53,800 the audience afterwards a young 761 00:31:51,430 --> 00:31:56,830 gentleman came up to me he was maybe in 762 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:59,950 his early 20s and he said he's from he's 763 00:31:56,830 --> 00:32:01,990 a teachers at a university and he's on 764 00:31:59,950 --> 00:32:04,420 the entrepreneurial path he said thank 765 00:32:01,990 --> 00:32:06,640 you so much that presentation which was 766 00:32:04,420 --> 00:32:08,320 a presentation about the high level 767 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:10,330 things of what I teach in the book he 768 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,770 said that was so inspiring thank you 769 00:32:10,330 --> 00:32:14,410 that made a difference for me and when 770 00:32:11,770 --> 00:32:16,480 people tell me that course extremely 771 00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:18,760 happy that that happened to them but I 772 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:20,860 always asked back so what was the top 773 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:22,240 takeaway for you so that they can tell 774 00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:24,250 me you know what was it that made the 775 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,620 difference from from the one hour that I 776 00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:28,810 talked right and he said to me ah that's 777 00:32:26,620 --> 00:32:31,060 a great question let me think he thought 778 00:32:28,810 --> 00:32:33,550 for a moment and then he replied well I 779 00:32:31,060 --> 00:32:36,280 now know that the inner critic and the 780 00:32:33,550 --> 00:32:38,140 real me are separate I always thought 781 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,490 that when that negative voice came up 782 00:32:38,140 --> 00:32:41,110 and I would hear it in my head I always 783 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:43,540 thought that was me I always thought 784 00:32:41,110 --> 00:32:45,220 that that was the truth now I know that 785 00:32:43,540 --> 00:32:47,590 I can actually separate that and not 786 00:32:45,220 --> 00:32:50,290 listen to that and let me tell you 787 00:32:47,590 --> 00:32:52,360 Laurie as someone doing what I do for 788 00:32:50,290 --> 00:32:55,030 the purposes of what I do I was ecstatic 789 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,530 I was like yes you know that a must that 790 00:32:55,030 --> 00:32:59,320 was brought me joy but it was like 791 00:32:56,530 --> 00:33:01,300 almost tears of joy because if you can 792 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:03,460 get that from listening to what I said 793 00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:05,110 and reading my book then that's that's 794 00:33:03,460 --> 00:33:06,970 it that's the Holy Grail right there if 795 00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:08,620 you can get that peace and take that 796 00:33:06,970 --> 00:33:10,250 forward in your life and move forward 797 00:33:08,620 --> 00:33:13,070 with your life knowing that from 798 00:33:10,250 --> 00:33:15,169 that's it that's perfect as a testament 799 00:33:13,070 --> 00:33:17,990 to the book itself I think that is one 800 00:33:15,169 --> 00:33:19,940 of the resounding pieces that for me was 801 00:33:17,990 --> 00:33:22,100 huge as mentioned the tips and tactics 802 00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:25,210 that you share in the book in applying 803 00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:28,669 those to assist with negating that 804 00:33:25,210 --> 00:33:31,429 little voice it definitely has made a 805 00:33:28,669 --> 00:33:34,760 huge difference so audience you will 806 00:33:31,429 --> 00:33:35,960 soon see a lot more live broadcast to 807 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,240 Mary thank you 808 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:40,490 they will have you've been awesome and 809 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:43,400 we have enjoyed having you on the show 810 00:33:40,490 --> 00:33:46,789 that show is really designed to help 811 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:49,130 entrepreneurs come up with an idea for 812 00:33:46,789 --> 00:33:51,500 business and an industry that they may 813 00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:54,470 not have been thinking of and Mary you 814 00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:58,010 are our very first public speaker on the 815 00:33:54,470 --> 00:34:00,620 show so and of course having helped me 816 00:33:58,010 --> 00:34:02,870 as much as you have I can't wait for the 817 00:34:00,620 --> 00:34:05,360 opportunity to turn around and be able 818 00:34:02,870 --> 00:34:07,810 to help you so Mary we'd love to know if 819 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:11,060 you had a magic wand and could change 820 00:34:07,810 --> 00:34:13,639 anything at all in your business what 821 00:34:11,060 --> 00:34:16,190 would it be and why how do you feel it 822 00:34:13,639 --> 00:34:18,379 would affect not just you but maybe the 823 00:34:16,190 --> 00:34:20,690 public speaking industry is whole and 824 00:34:18,379 --> 00:34:22,849 you know I'm very passed about what I do 825 00:34:20,690 --> 00:34:25,790 and and all of the things we've talked 826 00:34:22,849 --> 00:34:28,040 about and the message of the inner 827 00:34:25,790 --> 00:34:31,099 critic and how that affects us in public 828 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:33,320 speaking and in life as well that is my 829 00:34:31,099 --> 00:34:35,419 passion that I'm out to spread that 830 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:38,810 message so if I had a magic wand I would 831 00:34:35,419 --> 00:34:41,629 just let this message go viral as much 832 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:45,169 as possible so that as many people can 833 00:34:41,629 --> 00:34:48,470 hear it as many people can experience 834 00:34:45,169 --> 00:34:50,510 the effects of of the separating inner 835 00:34:48,470 --> 00:34:52,070 critic and knowing how to handle it so 836 00:34:50,510 --> 00:34:54,200 that it doesn't stop there 837 00:34:52,070 --> 00:34:56,389 authentic self from come through and 838 00:34:54,200 --> 00:35:00,140 doing what what their own inner calling 839 00:34:56,389 --> 00:35:02,359 is asking them to do that is what I'd 840 00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:05,089 love helping is to just spread this 841 00:35:02,359 --> 00:35:08,420 message and and let it go far and wide 842 00:35:05,089 --> 00:35:11,630 as much as thankful listeners definitely 843 00:35:08,420 --> 00:35:13,250 be sure to retweet and reshare and make 844 00:35:11,630 --> 00:35:14,750 sure that you guys help us get this 845 00:35:13,250 --> 00:35:16,940 message out there because I think it is 846 00:35:14,750 --> 00:35:19,040 an important one there are many many 847 00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:20,960 people across the globe struggling with 848 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,620 their inner critic that doesn't shut up 849 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,210 we need to get that link up 850 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:26,010 that everybody else can figure it out 851 00:35:24,210 --> 00:35:27,840 you know with the use of the book and 852 00:35:26,010 --> 00:35:29,820 and your assistants where you've been 853 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,710 outstanding please share the best way 854 00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:35,880 for our listeners to find you 855 00:35:31,710 --> 00:35:39,720 sure so my website is magnetic podium 856 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:41,460 calm aural one word magnetic podium calm 857 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:44,580 when you first go to the website there 858 00:35:41,460 --> 00:35:47,160 is a opting page where you can put in 859 00:35:44,580 --> 00:35:51,150 your name and email address and you will 860 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:54,510 receive a short report top three tips or 861 00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:56,400 top three misconceptions around public 862 00:35:54,510 --> 00:35:58,620 speaking so you'll get that PDF for free 863 00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,450 so please sign up for that and also I 864 00:35:58,620 --> 00:36:03,000 obviously have my book as we've spoken 865 00:36:00,450 --> 00:36:05,310 about you can get that on Amazon my you 866 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:10,200 can look up my last name which is CH e 867 00:36:05,310 --> 00:36:13,140 YN e mary jean marius ma ry last name CH 868 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:14,940 e whiny and you'll see that book pop up 869 00:36:13,140 --> 00:36:16,650 within two weeks it became Amazon 870 00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:18,150 bestseller and one of the best things I 871 00:36:16,650 --> 00:36:21,270 loved about reading the reviews if 872 00:36:18,150 --> 00:36:22,470 someone said they last this is the pink 873 00:36:21,270 --> 00:36:25,110 elephant in the room that nobody 874 00:36:22,470 --> 00:36:27,360 addresses in public speaking exactly how 875 00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:29,160 I feel around it so certainly I download 876 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:31,920 the book or by the paperback of the book 877 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:34,620 from Amazon and use those tools within 878 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:37,260 your life and share it with others I 879 00:36:34,620 --> 00:36:40,620 also have a bunch of other options that 880 00:36:37,260 --> 00:36:41,580 I have that people can find me and work 881 00:36:40,620 --> 00:36:44,850 with me around 882 00:36:41,580 --> 00:36:46,770 I have live boot camps I have private 883 00:36:44,850 --> 00:36:48,450 coaching and if you already know that 884 00:36:46,770 --> 00:36:49,860 you are a serious student and you'd like 885 00:36:48,450 --> 00:36:51,000 to find out more and have a conversation 886 00:36:49,860 --> 00:36:53,190 with me 887 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:56,100 you can book a free 15 minute 888 00:36:53,190 --> 00:36:57,930 conversation with me to see how I might 889 00:36:56,100 --> 00:37:00,510 be able to help you and learn more about 890 00:36:57,930 --> 00:37:03,150 your goals in public speaking and in 891 00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:06,780 general and for that you go to calendly 892 00:37:03,150 --> 00:37:11,820 comm 4th slash magnetic podium calendly 893 00:37:06,780 --> 00:37:13,920 is ca l en d ly comm forward slash 894 00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:16,260 magnetic podium and from there you'll be 895 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:19,550 able to book a free call with me and we 896 00:37:16,260 --> 00:37:22,380 can chat in further detail about you 897 00:37:19,550 --> 00:37:26,160 excellent I will be sure to put a link 898 00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:28,410 to both the call as well as the book and 899 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:30,150 your home page Mary so that they can 900 00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:31,800 definitely get in touch and get some 901 00:37:30,150 --> 00:37:34,500 help with their public speaking and 902 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:37,109 getting their inner critic to shut up 903 00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:38,910 very human outstanding thank you thank 904 00:37:37,109 --> 00:37:40,410 you so much for joining us today 905 00:37:38,910 --> 00:37:42,690 and thank you for having me it was a 906 00:37:40,410 --> 00:37:44,369 lovely to speak with you Mary thank you 907 00:37:42,690 --> 00:37:47,430 again for joining us and for sharing 908 00:37:44,369 --> 00:37:51,680 your time and expertise tucky community 909 00:37:47,430 --> 00:37:54,540 how is it that fear manifests for you 910 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:57,150 think about it and if you need help 911 00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:59,369 silencing your inner critic be sure to 912 00:37:57,150 --> 00:38:02,040 reach out to Mary Sheen over at magnetic 913 00:37:59,369 --> 00:38:03,480 podium comm you can always reach her 914 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:06,599 through our show notes page at 915 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:09,150 technology equality comm forward slash 916 00:38:06,599 --> 00:38:12,359 Mary Sheen thank you again for joining 917 00:38:09,150 --> 00:38:14,310 us here for episode 71 and until our 918 00:38:12,359 --> 00:38:16,200 next episode when we continue to hear 919 00:38:14,310 --> 00:38:18,850 the journey find the pain and create 920 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:46,170 solutions enjoy the week 921 00:38:18,850 --> 00:38:46,170 [Music] 922 00:38:46,289 --> 00:38:48,349 you
